Chapter 22

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Erwin went to get a glass of champagne and drank it in one shot.
"Hey, big guy." Hange and Moblit were standing beside him.
"Oh hi, congratulations guys. It's a beautiful day." He smiled tiredly at them.
"Thank you Erwin." Moblit replied.
"Moblit was so patient with me, I changed my mind tens of times." She said, hugging Moblit tightly.
"I'm really happy for you two." Erwin said and took another glass, finishing it quickly.
"Hey, slow down. Mike will have to carry you." Hange said playfully.
"I'm ok." He assured her.
They were silent for a while.
"Hange, can I ask you a favour?" Erwin said.
"Yeah sure."
"I'm going to make a toast for you, can you make sure that (y/n) is listening?"
"Awwwww you're getting back together!" Hange got excited.
"Don't get your hopes high." He said and went for the mic.
"Let's go Moblit, we have to save those two fools."

They went to (y/n) and Hange held her hand tightly.
"What's wrong?" (Y/n) said, looking at them with a confused look.
"Nothing, just enjoying your presence." Hange replied innocently.

After a couple of seconds, Erwin started to talk, catching everybody's attention. He held the glass in one hand and the mic with the other.
"Hey everyone, can I have your attention?"
Once (y/n) heard him she tried to move but Hange held her tight.

"I want to make a toast for those two. I've known them and worked with them for very long, and they always managed to amaze me. Hange, you're my smart friend, and I can't believe that I'm standing here at your wedding."
(Y/n) calmed herself and tried to get distracted by anything.

"And Moblit, you're the most loyal man I've ever seen. You two really deserve each other." He paused for a moment and continued. "But I'm sorry, it's your wedding, and I'm turning the attention to me, because I'm selfish." At that last word he looked directly to (y/n).

"I'm selfish, despite all my father's tries. I'm selfish and stupid, I've hurt the one person I love the most, the one that I should protect.. the one who trusted me.. and it kills me.." (y/n) started to cry quietly.

"I know that I don't deserve you anymore, I know you have all the right not to forgive me.. what I did was.." he sighed and took a deep breath. "But I'm also greedy, greedy for your kindness and hoping that you could do it and forgive me.."
The guests were turning their gazes between (y/n) and Erwin, most of them didn't understand exactly what was going on, but figured the outline from Erwin's words.

"(Y/n), I'm sorry.. if I could turn back time I would.. I regret what I said and did, and what I didn't say and didn't do.. but I promise I would make it up for you.. I'm nothing without you.. I'm willing to do anything, anything so that you can forgive me."
He held his breath, (y/n) looked away and went out fast, this time Hange couldn't stop her. Erwin sighed and said: "To Moblit and Hange, everyone." He said and raised his glass. They clapped for him and said cheers awkwardly. Mike went next, saying his toast and trying to lighten the mood.

Erwin went completely out of the house, finding (y/n) sitting on the ground, her back to a tree, crying her heart out.
He hesitated for a minute and then went to her.
He cleared his throat, making her notice his presence.
She looked at him, pain in her eyes.
"I trusted you." she began.
"Yes, you did."
"But you broke my heart, twice!"
"I did."
"You made Zeke gloat me!" Her voice was getting louder and she got up.
Erwin didn't understand that sentence.
"Zeke?"
"He called me a slut, your slut, choosing you over him and then you dumping me!"
Erwin got very angry, clenching his fists.
"That Monkey! I swear I'm going t.."
"GOING TO WHAT? HE'S RIGHT! That's exactly what happened. I trusted you and broke my rules for you. And you left me. You left me alone, Erwin. You didn't think about me, you didn't think what I would do without you."
"I know, I'm sorry. But you're not a slut, (y/n). I love you. I love you so much. Please, please, I'm begging you to forgive me."
"What do you expect, huh? After lying to me, saying you chose to be with me and you didn't mean it.. you think you could go away for a month and then apologize when we met by chance.. Do you think it's that simple?"
"No, it's not, that's why it took me that long. I knew you weren't going to hear me."
"Did you think about how I was? Did you think about what I was feeling? My heart was burning, Erwin. I couldn't sleep. Your words kept playing in my head over, and over.."
She felt dizzy again and leaned on the tree, trying to calm herself.
"Are you ok?" He was concerned about her, he reached for her by his arms but she avoided him.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she yelled again, then fell to her knees and threw up, hard. Anything she ate from the morning was out of her system.
Erwin didn't think twice and hugged her tight from her side, holding her hair.
"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. Oh my god, (y/n). I'm sorry."
She was silent for a minute. Looking at the ground.
He kept one arm around her, and got her a tissue from his pocket and wiped her mouth gently.
He then took her head in his embrace, caressing her hair.
"I know you're scared. You are afraid of trusting me again. But I swear to god, (y/n), I promise you, I won't leave you ever again. I've learned from my mistakes. Please give me this chance."
He helped her up gently, but kept hugging her. Her arms beside her.
'that scent, that fucking scent, it's the death of me.'
It was the first time for (y/n)'s heart to feel calm in a while.
"I won't be able to survive if you do that to me again." She said quietly.
He took her head in his hands, her face was so cold.
"I won't. I'd rather die before hurting you again. I love you."
"I.. love you too.. but I don't trust you.." she was so tired now.
"Then let me win your trust again. Can you please remember one thing, just one thing I did that made you trust me?"
She sighed and sank into her thoughts. Did he really deserve another chance?
"I don't know what to do.." she shrugged between his arms.
"Let me prove to you my words. I don't want anything but you, (y/n). I feel that I only see colours when you're with me. In the last 2 months I buried myself in work, but in vain. I can't continue the rest of my life without you."

She was just looking at him, tears poured from her eyes quietly, as he decreased the gap between their lips and kissed her slowly, he didn't care that she just threw up. Well, it's gross, yes, but he just missed her so much that he didn't mind it.
She moved her hands finally and held his suit, like a little kid holding his mother's clothes.
Erwin's eyes started to water, "oh god. I missed you so much, I thought I'd lost you. I would have never forgiven myself."
It was the first time for (y/n) to see Erwin's tears. She wiped them with her fingers and smiled a little at him. He hugged her tightly as if he wanted to hide her inside of him.

"Come on, let's go." He said, holding her hand.
"Where?" She asked.
"It's a surprise, we'll celebrate."

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