Almost Maybes

Southern Mama Smack

Chase’s POV:
A smack to the back of my head had me spinning around to see just who was beating me. The anger I felt dissipated instantly when I saw the look on my Mama’s face. I’d seen that look countless times over my lifespan and each time I had, I knew what was to follow. I was getting ready to get my ass chewed.

“Chase Daniel Rice, I swear for you to be as successful as you are, you are dumber than a dang box of bricks. If you didn't look so much like your daddy -god bless his soul-, I would swear that you weren't mine.” said Mama, her finger waving in my face and making me feel like I was 5 years old again. 

“Mama-”

“Don't you mama me, son. You have been miserable for a week. I don't know for a fact what happened between you two but I have my suspicions.” said Mama. “You keep pussyfooting around, waiting for her to come to her senses, and you're going to lose her. You hear me?”

“I hear ya mama.” I said, dropping my head as I made my way to the front door. Just as I was about to step through it, Mama spoke again. 

“Do more than hear me Chase. Listen to me. You love that girl. Have for as long as you two have known each other. Man up and tell her how you feel before it’s too late. Stop with this male pride crap and show her how you are feeling. I think you know she is harboring those same feelings.”

“Mama, we slept together okay? And after we did, she freaked out and locked herself in the bathroom.” I said in a rush. Spinning to look at Mama, I saw she had a grin on her face, telling me that she knew she had been right about what happened between Hadley and I. “But it's more than just that Mama. I do love her. I’ve been in love with her for years, you know that. What we shared that night was indescribable. I was so raw for my feelings over it all and for her that when she locked herself in the bathroom, I got dressed and left. I couldn't stand the thought of her coming out of that bathroom and telling me that what had happened had been a mistake. So I ran. ”

“Son, I know what it means to want something so bad but be too afraid to take the chance to have it. But you know just as well as I do that if you don't take the chance and soon, you're going to lose the best thing that ever happened to you.” said Mama as she walked over and placed her hands on my cheeks. “She’s not going to be single forever son. My best advice? Take the next two weeks that you're home and try to fix this. It won't be easy but you and I both know that if you two leave things up in the air when you go back to Tennessee, it will be the biggest mistake you two ever made.”

“I can't lose her Mama. She’s literally my best friend.” I said, emotions clogging my voice. At 36 years old, I was standing on my mama’s porch about to burst into tears over a girl. Something I had never done in my whole life. 

“And that's part of the problem. You two have been so close for so long that neither of you could imagine living a life without the other in it. You two might not have had the title of boyfriend/girlfriend, but to those of us looking at things on the outside, you two have been together for years. It's time that you make that girl see that you want to be more than just her best friend.” said Mama before turning and walking past me to go inside the house. 

I stood on the front porch thinking about all that Mama said. I knew she was right. I knew I needed to do something to make Hadley see that I wanted her in my life as more than just my best friend. But I just didn't know how to do it because the fear of opening up and telling her how I and having her reject me was something that I knew would kill me. Because of that, there really was only one option for me and that was to keep her as my best friend, even if it meant that my heart would break every time I was around her.   

Needing some time to clear my head, I stalked over to my truck and climbed inside. As the big engine roared to life, ‘My best friend’ filled the cabin, sending me scrambling to grab my phone. For as long as I could remember, it had been Hadley’s ringtone. Only, when I looked at the screen of the phone, I saw that she wasn't calling and that the song had been coming through the speakers instead of from my phone. With a sigh of disappointment, I flipped the channel only to have one of my songs fill the cabin of the truck. All it had taken was one note and I knew what it was immediately. 

Hadley knew that ‘Eyes on you’ had been written about her. There was no denying it when all the places I talked about in the song were places she and I have been to over the years together. I mean Times Square on New Years Eve, Pfeiffer Beach our Junior year of college, London and Paris on my first international tour. She had been there for every single one of the moments I sang about. How could the woman not see what I was crazy about her after that?

Turning the radio off so that I didn't hear yet another song that reminded me of Hadley, I slammed my hands down on the steering wheel, the need to hit something winning out over my self-control. Slamming my truck into gear, I tore out of the driveway, gravel flying behind me. I knew Mama was going to beat my ass when I got back for spinning tires in the driveway but I’d deal with that later. Right now, I needed a drink or twenty, and somewhere that didn't remind me of the woman that I couldn't have.