AFTER OUR DAWN

Chapter 12.

CHAPTER TWELVE

"What the hell was that? I just can't believe this. You and Holden are messing around? How did this happen?" She asks me and covers her face in shock.

"We aren't messing around!" I tell her.

"I thought you guys hated each other. Well Holden hates everyone but I thought he hated you even more than his normal hatred for people. But here I come to the room and I find you two almost messing around. I definitely think something could happen between you two."

I sit on my bed and run my fingers through my hair. "No way, and we are not messing around! He came here and started messing with my papers, so I was just trying to get them back. Nothing more." I tell her and her smirk grows.

"It didn't seem to me like nothing, you were so close to each other, literally an inch from kissing, and his hand was under your shirt."

"I don't know what is was.. but it doesn't matter he has a girlfriend." I say and she burst into laughter. What is so funny?

"A girlfriend? Holden?" She keeps laughing. "Why do you think he has a girlfriend?"

"I saw him at the party making out with someone in one of the rooms. They looked like a couple." The image of them making out on the bed comes into my mind.

"No way. Holden doesn't date. He just messes around with a lot of girls but he doesn't date anyone."

"Oh." I say and she gives me a strange smile.

"He doesn't do it to be mean or use girls.. they pretty much throw themselves at him and he lets them know from the start that he doesn't date." She defends him.

"Do not think I am implying anything.. but you could learn a lot from Holden.. you know sexually." She says and my mouth falls open. Is she serious? Is that something she would do.. wait has she? Her and Holden?

"No way. I don't want to learn anything from Holden. He's an idiot and he hates me." I tell her.

"Have you?" I ask her. I have to know if her and Holden have slept together. Not that I care, I am just curious.

"Me and Holden? No, I haven't had sex with him, but we had a little fling, I think that was when we first met. It wasn't serious, and nothing came from it. We were friends with benefits for about two weeks." She says like it is not a big deal.

"Oh benefits.. what do you meant by friends with benefits?" I ask, my mouth is completely dry and I find myself suddenly annoyed by Holly, even though I shouldn't.

"Nothing too serious.. Just like a few heavy make out sessions, and other things I better not detail to you, but really it wasn't serious." She says and for some reason it bothers me. I am not surprised really, but I wish I wouldn't have asked.

"Does Holden have a lot of friends with benefits?" I don't want to hear the answer but I can't help but ask.

"Yes, he does. Not hundred as you might think, but he's a pretty active guy. He was with more than half of the girls on campus."

"Why doesn't he date?" What is wrong with me? Why can't I stop asking these questions? And why is it so interesting to me?

"I don't know really.. he just doesn't. He prefers to change girls every weekend and not commit to any of them." She says. I can't help the jealousy that stirs inside me. Why would I be jealous of Holden? He can do whatever he wants with any girl he wants.

"Look I think you could have a lot of fun with Holden, but I also think this could be dangerous for you. Unless you know you will never develop any sort of feelings for him I would stay away." Her voice is full of concern.

"Trust me, I don't have feelings for him. He's a jerk." I laugh and hope it sounds convincing, because it definitely isn't.

"Just warning." She says and raises her hands in the air. "I have seen a lot of girls fall for him and it's not pretty."
How did we get into this conversation? Nothing happened between Holden and me, and neither will happen. I make the decision to stay away from him as much as possible, I don't want him to think that at some point I will be one of those girls. I will not be anyone's friends with benefits.

"So how were your classes today?" I ask her and she sits down on her bed across from me. We spend the rest of the night talking about classes, her new relationship with Noah, the guy Jace introduced me to at the party, and everything I can think of besides Holden, and our almost kiss today.