If You Go Down, I Go Down With You

My Big Baby

We were laying in bed together. James was laying with his head on my chest. I was holding him tightly, running my fingers through his hair.

"James?" I whispered after a little while. His eyes were closed but I knew he wasn't sleeping. "Hmm?" He hummed, keeping his eyes closed.

"What do we do about the gun?" It was something we had to talk about. It was something neither of us wanted to talk about but if we didn't we would both go to jail. We needed to figure out how to get my fingerprints off that gun.

He lifts his head off my chest and gives me a soft kiss. "You always know how to ruin the moment, don't you?" He brushes the hair out of my face and kisses my cheek. "We have to figure if out James."

"I know we do baby. Do you trust me?" I couldn't help but shake my head and smile a little. "Of course I trust you James. You know that. We wouldn't be here if I didn't."

"Then let me handle it. Please doll, Don't worry about it. You're so stressed out. I will help you. I'll get it taken care of. Will you let me?"

I didn't know. I trusted James with my life. That much was obvious. But I couldn't just not know what was going on. I had to make sure for myself that this gun was gonna and taken care of.

Just thinking about having it out there and not knowing for sure what had happened to it and that it was taken care of for good was giving me anxiety. I had to see it with my own eyes.

"I don't know James. I don't like not seeing it through myself. I want to see with my own eyes that it's taken care of. I want to know 100% that I won't be going to jail because of that gun."

"Okay. And you said you trust me. So I will make an arrangement and when I get everything set up to take care of it, you can come with me and see if gotten rid of for good, but don't worry about how to get rid of it, let me take care of it."

I sat there for a minute and thought. I contemplated. Even though he was taking care of it, I would still stress about it until I saw it gone. But I was going to try. Because the last thing I wanted right now was for him to think I didn't trust him.

Well that and go to jail for life, possibly get the death penalty, but losing his trust and his faith in me was pretty bad too. Especially when I just admitted to myself I was in love with him. That was something he didn't need to know yet though.

"Okay. Fine. I trust you James." He smiles and he pulled me to him for an aggressive- but like a 'oh I'm so happy I just need to kiss you'- aggressive kiss.

"Thank you." Another kiss. "Now will you please let me lay back down and go to sleep? I'm so tired. And you're boobs are really comfortable to lay on."

"Shut up weirdo. You just like to put your face in them." I tease and push him away playfully. "I do. Very much. And I know you like it too. But I'm too tired to go again. Please lay down."

I lay down and he lays down with his head and snuggles his head into my chest. I run my fingers through his hair and kiss his temple. "Get some sleep my big baby." I can't help but giggle a little when I say it.

"Good night my pretty girl." He mumbles and kisses my chest softly. Seeing him like this melted my heart. My bottom lip instinctively popped out and I couldn't help it. "Aww. Goodnight bub." I cooed.

He let out a soft laugh and his hold on me tightened. We were both dominant and independent, but when it came to each other we were softies for each other.

We were whatever the other needed. We were bipolar with one another. One minute he'd bend me over a desk and tell me I'm his whore, the next he'd kiss my forehead and tell me how pretty I was.

One minute I would push him down on the bed and take control, the next I was beneath him, begging for him. Or I was letting him carry me around like a baby. Or he was laying on top of me like a baby.

We were perfect for each other. We were the same. But I couldn't help but think, it's worked well so far, but what would ever happen if both of us were being stubborn and hardheaded and wanted to be in control?