Donald trump x joe biden oneshots 😰😰

Biden's birthday

A/N: this is satire and ive never eaten taco bell in my life

Trump woke up a few hours before his lover in order to prepare a surprise for Biden, he wanted to make his birthday extra special..

He prepared a perfect breakfast for his perfect little omega husband, blueberry pancakes generously drizzled with the blood of liberals. He had also purchased limited edition Orphan Tears to pair up with the luxurious meal he had created from scratch.

Trump gently smacked his lover in the face before yelling at him and smothering him with kisses.
"WAKE UP ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY"

Biden couldn't even process what was going on and was still sleepy, Trump thought it was cute how disoriented he looked and how messy his hair got in the morning.
"W..What's going on..? Give me 5 more minutes dear..."

Trump just looked at him and said "Today's your birthday honey. I made your favorite."

"Oh okay..WAIT, WHAT?!"
Biden had been so busy with work that he had forgotten about his birthday completely!!

They went together to the kitchen and quietly ate breakfast. Biden was more awake now, and rather happy about the surprise.

Trump heard a sniffle and looked up from his plate, "Did I put too much liberal blood? I know it's a bit spicy like Taco Bell chalupas..."

Biden was crying quietly, staring at his plate.
Trump immediately got up to comfort his weeping boyfriend. Had Trump done something wrong? He had to make up for it, he was determined to!!

"I'm so sorry, love! I had no idea you hated liberal blood that much!" He said, hugging Joe.

Biden regained his composure slightly before speaking up, "It's nothing like that!! I love liberal blood in the morning!"

Trump pulled away with a worried and confused look on his face.
"What's wrong then, honey?"
Biden looked away shyly.
"Ive never been cared for like this before!! I feel so.. So loved.."

The blueberry pancakes had been a success!! Trump's secret ingredient to his famous blueberry pancakes was actually cocaine mixed with Mark Zuckerberg's pubes. It made whoever ate them addicted to the pancakes, and also added more depth to the intricate flavors of the pan-fried pastry.

They later went to the mall and got the ugliest, most disgusting outfits known to humankind. Also pink glittery crocs because Biden loved those.

"I love you, Joe."

"I love you too, you greasy orange bastard..."

Then they fucked or something idfk