say you won't let go

11

chapter title : a broken soul. 

summary : chuuya finally wakes up but he doesn't really remember much about the happenings that went by that day. dazai seems to be avoiding him but he doesn't seem to know why.

chuuya gets more frustrated to officially get hurt after. not physically but emotionally. that kind of hurt that hurts so deep like a knife cutting through his heart and soul. and the person holding that knife is none other than...

dazai osamu

note : emotional, angst (i hope it makes you cry :), bring some tissues if you want to. 

— 

"he still refuses to meet me?" chuuya puts down the magazine he was reading agitatedly, demanding a concrete answer from akutagawa. it's been a week since he has woke up and the doctor attending to him told him he could leave the headquarters after awhile more. which was definitely a good news. except for dazai not coming to visit him.

he doesn't get it. he knew from his friends and other mafia members that dazai went through thick and thin in order to bring him back safely. and despite his memory about that day being blurry and vague, he knew dazai never failed to keep him safe and give him comfort. so why? why isn't he coming to visit chuuya?

"he's not refusing to meet you. he's... just busy." and every time he asks someone that question, they always avoid his gaze. he's about to throw a fit. is dazai hiding something? is there something happening that he doesn't know of? because for the first few days, he gets it dazai may be busy trying to clear things out especially of how big his kidnapping kind of was but it has been a week already.

despite how busy he is, he could just drop in for 1 second right? just outside the door, waving hello to chuuya would be enough. or just sending him some flowers or gifts into the room he's recovering in. but none. none of these happen. he's so emotionally and mentally frustrated. he needs answers but no one is giving it to him. everyone seems to be hiding something. moreover, from him-

"right. and he's busy 25/8. so busy that he couldn't even drop in to say hi for 1 millisecond." chuuya sighed exasperatedly as he rolled his eyes, leaning down onto the bed to lie down and look at the scenery outside. he's so done. not even atsushi or higuchi would answer such of his questions properly. he hates this. he hates them. he hates dazai.

he felt several tears glistering in his eyes. urgh- not again. why should he cry over that stupid bastard? right- he fell in love with him. "chuuya... it's not like that." akutagawa replied resignedly, the ginger understands none of his friends wanted to hide anything from him too. it's all that bandaged freak's fault.

"it's not like that. it's not like that. then can you tell me what is it like? pretending he's busy just because he wants to avoid me is the only thing i'm seeing from all of this." more tears start to sprout out, he hates how weak he is. he's literally acting like a kid screaming for his mother but instead it's a bastard he loves.

it's as if his world is about to crumble down without dazai. maybe it is.

"chuuya, i promise he's really concerned about you. he has been constantly asking for updates on your health condition." from akutagawa's tone, he knows he is speaking the truth. but what's the point of that. 'concerned' just because he feels like he's responsible for chuuya's safety. dazai doesn't even bother doing anything right now, it's like his attitude towards chuuya changed 180 degrees.

he doesn't know why or what caused such a change but he wants to find out. "whatever. just leave me alone, i'm going to take a short nap." the ginger closed his eyes, trying to not think about anything and let his mind relax.