The Life We Left Behind

You're not that evil

He frowned. „What... why?" He took another step towards her, and she retracted further, raising her hands in defense. He got seriously worried now. „Roni... what's wrong? Are you hurt? Did something happen? Please, let me help you!"„No! I'm fine, just go away."„Don't be ridiculous! You're obviously not fine. What happened? Is it Belfrey?"
She took a deep breath and started massaging her temples to calm her nerves and focus her thoughts, then closed her eyes. She couldn't look at him, couldn't stand seeing the concern and pain on his face, he was so desperate to help her, to comfort her, be there for her. For Roni, his girlfriend. But Roni was gone. Forever.
„I can't talk about it right now. Please leave, don't make me say it again."
„But why? Baby, I... I don't understand." She could hear something changing in his voice. Concern turned into something else. Was it fear?
„Killian...", she started, then quickly corrected herself, „I mean..."

„Killian?? What the fuck, Roni! First you can't stop talking about this Robin in your sleep, now there's also a Killian? What's going on here? Are you... are you seeing other men?"
„No, I'm not! That's ridiculous! You wouldn't understand."„Well, try me! I want you to explain. You owe me that much, don't you think?"
„No, Rogers. I don't owe you anything."
„But we're in a relationship here! We're a team. You're my girlfriend."
By now Regina had managed to bring some distance between them by retreating back behind her bar counter. She took out a bottle of tequila and poured herself a shot that she downed in one go. Then she slowly shook her head, and it felt like ripping out her own heart. „No... we're not. This thing between us is not working for me. I can't do this. It's over."

She started wiping down her counter so she didn't have to see the shock and despair on his face, the tears that were welling up in his eyes. But she could hear his voice, soft now, and breaking. „No... no, Roni, please! Don't do this to me, love!"
She didn't respond, but turned her back on him so he couldn't see her swallow and fight the tears herself.
He started pleading with her: „I just... I don't understand. What happened?? Did I do something wrong? Was it something I said? I know I've been pretty caught up in this Eloise Gardener case lately, but... you said you were fine with it, you were even encouraging me! When we had lunch earlier today... we were fine. No? You told me how happy you were that you didn't have to face this madness with Belfrey alone anymore and how much you appreciate me being there for you... That was just a few hours ago! What changed between then and now?"

What changed, she thought. Oh, nothing, except for... everything! Absolutely everything. It would be wrong to continue this romance. And weird. So very weird. She couldn't possibly be with him and... God, her head started spinning at the thought of what they had done together, partly right here on this counter she was leaning on right now. Plus, she had more important things to take care of right now than her own pleasure. She had to save her son's life! Not flirt around with some filthy pirate who was playing cop.

By now he had joined her behind the bar, but he knew better than to try and touch her once more. This time he kept his distance. She took one look at his face, his ocean blue eyes, and she saw a broken man standing in front of her, barely able to hold himself together. His image tore her apart from the inside, but there was no other way. She had to rip off the bandaid, as fast and clean as she could. It was ironic. She was the queen of – literally – breaking hearts. And yet she had such a hard time breaking his.
„Nothing changed, that's the thing. This... relationship of ours hasn't been working for me since the beginning. I just wasn't willing to see it, I so much wanted it to work out. But I need to be honest with myself and fair to you, and that's how it is. I can't help it, Rogers, I don't have feelings for you. I just don't. I thought they would develop with time, but... I'm sorry. You're a good fuck, now and then, but... to me not more than that. I'm sorry I wasted your time, now... please go."