The Life We Left Behind

Catching up with an old boyfriend

These memories came back to her with full force at night and made her start from her sleep.
„Regina? What's wrong?", she heard a deep voice right next to her, then felt his warm hand on her back.
She turned her head and looked at him, almost surprised at first to see him, as if she had expect to see someone else in his stead.
„It's, huh... it's nothing", she had to swallow, her mouth was bone dry, „Just a bad dream."
„I can imagine. I can take care of those dreams of yours if you like?"
She shook her head. „No. It's alright", she looked at her watch, it was just past 5:30am, „I gotta go."
„But why? Stay for breakfast, please! For old times' sake."
She cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. „I don't think our old times deserve breakfast, Mr. Samdi."
Still shaken from her vivid dreams, she started picking up her clothes from the floor and got dressed. She could still feel, could still taste his lips on hers. Not Facilier's, but her pirate's. If she had stayed with him that night instead of running off and pushing him away all those years ago... what would have been? What could have been...

When Facilier went up to her and gently held her by the arms, she finally looked up to him and into his eyes. „Regina, please talk to me. Are you alright?"
„I am. I told you, I gotta go."
„It's not even six!"
„Zelena's waiting. I'll call you."
„No, you won't..."
She was out the door before she could reply.

The morning air was chilly and she pulled her coat tighter around her body, as if she wanted to completely disappear in it, and in a way, she wanted to. How long had it been since she had last done the infamous ‚walk of shame'? She just prayed to God that this early in the morning she wouldn't meet anyone who...
„Roni?"
Damnit! For a second there she thought about ignoring him, pretending she didn't see or hear him, but that would have made the entire situation look ever weirder.
„Henry... what are you doing out here?"
He was finishing up his night shift driving people around, and he was quite surprised to see her out so early. He was too smart as to believe her nonsense about an early morning meeting with one of her suppliers, let alone in that outfit.
„Okay, fine! There wasn't a meeting... I was catching up with an old boyfriend, okay?"
„Ah, I see", he smiled, „Finally! I was rooting for you and Rogers to get back together."
„Oh, it wasn't Rogers. Sorry to disappoint. Older. Much... much older."
He frowned and looked as if he wanted to say something, obviously disappointed that she'd switch out his new buddy so quickly. But he just took a deep sigh and let it go. Thank God! It wasn't any of his concern, and on top of that, still unbeknownst to him, this was his mother he was talking to...

There was one benefit to running into Henry and taking him in with her when she entered the bar though: Zelena's impertinent accusations instantly got stuck in her throat upon seeing them together. Her arms akimbo, she opened her mouth to speak, but closed it right away.
Regina gave her the sweetest, almost triumphant smile. „Good morning, Kelly! Look who the cat dragged in. I'll be in the kitchen making our most loyal customer some breakfast if you need me."
When she walked past her sister, she could hear her hissing: „Your boy may have saved you this time, but his isn't over!"

***

„You did what??"
„Please, calm down!"
„No, YOU calm down! You slept with... Facilier? So he's awake??"
„Oh, come on! You know it wasn't the first time, and it's probably not going to be the last."
„Oh, it is, trust me! It sooo is! You're not going to see him again, young lady, do you understand me?"
Regina looked at her, mouth wide open in disbelief. „Excuse me?? Who I'm sleeping with or not is none of your business! Who do you think you are, my mother?"
„I can be WORSE than your mother if you want me to! I'm serious, Regina, that man is dangerous, and you need to stay far away from him, not spread your legs as soon as he comes slithering into town."
„I appreciate your concern, but I'm a grown woman and I can take care of myself."
„Oh yeah? Even without magic?"
„I don't need magic. Besides, if there's anyone who may help me get closer to finding a way how to save Henry and break the curse, it's him."
She saw her sister's eyes narrow in growing suspicion. „So that's what this is about? This is all about taking advantage of him? A way to get closer to him so you get closer to saving Henry? Is that honestly what you want me to believe?"
„Yes... and no. That, and... well, believe it or not, but I actually do care about Facilier."
„You like him?", she asked with a disgusted face.
„Yes! So what? I do have feelings for him. We have history. Why is that so hard for you to accept?"
„Because it's BS, Regina."
„What?!"
„You don't care about the guy. Or, maybe a little, but that's not the point."
Regina sighed: „Alright then, enlighten me, why do you think I did this if I don't care about him?"
„Well, it's obvious, isn't it? You need the distraction!"
„Distraction from what?"
„Not from what. From who! You're using him to get over Nook... Killian... Rogers, whatever."
„Oh, that is ridiculous!", she spat back at her, turned around and started wiping down the bar countertop, a little too frantically to add any credibility to her words. By now she started wondering herself: was Zelena right? Had she just thrown herself at him to get over Rogers? No... Without a doubt. There was nothing to get over. She didn't have any feelings for Rogers. Roni did. But Regina didn't. Full-stop.

Zelena sat down on the barstool right in front of her and looked at her with her piercing light blue eyes. „I think you're lying. You think you can replace that hole in your heart with Facilier, but that won't work, sis. That man is wicked, and I know wicked when I see it. He's a far cry from Nook."
She just reciprocated her look ever so briefly before she continued cleaning. „If that's what you want to tell yourself, be my guest, but I don't have time for this nonsense, I need to save my son, and so far, I'd wager I'd have a much better chance of doing so with the help of Facilier than with our dear Detective Rogers who is still fast asleep and has absolutely no clue of what the hell is going on here."
„Alright, alright, whatever, you do you. But then, tell me... how can you do this to him?"
„What do you mean?"
„Gossip travels fast in the Heights, how do you think will he feel when he learns you're already... hooking up with the next guy? Is he really that disposable to you?"
„Zelena...", she finally put down the cleaning rag and fully looked at her, „I don't want to hurt him. Trust me, he's a good guy. But this thing between us isn't real, and I can't keep it up just for the sake of it. It wouldn't be fair, it wouldn't be true. The sooner he understands this, the better. And if he needs some sort of rude awakening, then that's what it is. He's resilient. He'll get over it. Plus, Lucy and I are going to rekindle his old bromance with Henry and Nick, or... Jack. His buddies will take his mind off of Roni, I'm sure."

Or, Zelena thought, they would just make it that much worse...