The Life We Left Behind

Conversations with a gravestone

"Bloody hell! Are you insane?!"

"You're going to stop yelling and you're going to answer me a few questions", Robin said, "Or I will point this arrow at your balls instead."

"Where did you even pull that thing out of, are you hiding your weapon underneath your shirt or something?"

"Irrelevant! Get back inside and sit down."

He sighed and helplessly lifted his arms, then let them drop against his sides with an audible thud before following her order. He sat back down on the bed, average at best in terms of the sleep comfort it provided, looking up at her.

"Well then, my dear future daughter in law who is threatening to kill me, what can I do for you today?"

She pulled a chair towards him and sat down opposite of him, bow and arrow still at hand.

"You're going to answer my question."

"You already said so."

"Who was the woman?"

"Which woman, love?"

"The woman who was with you in the restroom earlier. I heard you, don't try to deny it."

"There was no woman with me in the restroom."

Instantly, she raised her weapon again, pointing it directly at him. "I said, don't deny it! I know what I heard. Even though I'd honestly rather not..."

"Bloody hell, put that thing down! You think Alice would like you putting an arrow through her father? Besides, why do you care so much who I'm with?"

"You can't do this to Regina! It's disgraceful! If the two of you've decided to hate each other, fine, that's up to you! But you turning around right the next instant screwing another woman? That's disgusting, and it's incredibly embarrassing for her. She's the mayor, the queen! And people talk... How do you think she will feel if she finds out? Like some piece of garbage you just throw away like that?"

For a moment, it hurt just thinking about him possibly making her feel that way, even though he knew it was nonsense.

"Well, I'm sure your aunt will be just fine, love", he slapped his knees and attempted to get up with this conversation being over, but Robin would have none of this.

"I don't think so! She'll be devastated."

He sighed and ran his hand across his face. What the hell was he to do? He knew he shouldn't tell her, but... it seemed like this was the only way to safe his precious testicles. And in the end, that should be in his lover's own best interest too, shouldn't it?

"You're not going to let this one go, are you?"

"Take a gander. I'm asking you one last time: who was the woman?"

"Well then if you absolutely need to know: that woman I was with in the restroom today actually was your aunt herself, Robin."

"What?", she frowned and lowered her bow, "That's impossible!"

"And why is that?"

"Aunt Regina is a queen and a bit more refined! Besides, the way you acted around each other just before?"

"Maybe we were just putting on a show for all of you so you wouldn't suss us out?"

"And what if we would? We would be incredibly happy for both of you! Why hide something like that, that makes absolutely no sense?"

"Can't say I disagree with you, and yet, here we are."

"And also, most importantly... it couldn't have been Regina because... because she's still in love with my father."