How will you fix me? (Marianas Trench fan fic)

I stared at the needle. I was kind of scared at the thought of injecting it in my veins, I had always been kind of scared of needles. But at this point I really didn't care. I just wanted the pain to go away, I just wanted to be happy, even if it was only temporary, even if it would probably ruin my life.

I injected the needle into the vein in my wrist. I didn't hurt as much as i thought it would, it barely hurt at all actually. Why was I doing heroin? It's pretty simple. I have two reasons; One, I'm tired of suffering, I'm tired of all the emotional pain, I'm just hoping to be able to escape the world, even just for a little while. And secondly, it's a form of self harm. I know that heroin will most likely ruin my life. And that's what I'm expecting it to do.

Most people would probably think that my life is amazing, that everything is fine. But it's not. I don't like talking about my problems to people. And I don't want anyone to suspect that I have any, either. Which is why I keep a fake smile plastered to my face all the time.

But anyways, here's a short story of my life. My parents separated when I was pretty young. I've lived with my mom pretty much all my life, and I go see my dad once every two weeks, spend the weekend at his house. But I hate my dad. I hate him for being the person he is. For never understanding. For never being there for me when I need it. For making me feel unwelcome. For choosing everyone and everything else over me. For making me feel like he doesn't care about me.

So that's my dad, now here's kind of what it's like with my mom. She used to be an alcoholic. She stopped drinking a few months ago, and now she fell into a huge depression. So now she's on sick leave. We used to get in fights all the time, we still do sometimes, just not as often. My mom breaks down often, and usually won't tell me what's going on.

I started cutting when i was 14, at first only little cuts, but then one day i decided that I wanted to know what it felt like to cut with a knife, to bleed. It was only supposed to be an experience. Turned out to be an addiction. At the age of 14 I also started going on diets. At first they weren't that bad, I'd only skip lunch. But now I skip both breakfast and lunch, and eat as little as possible, and when I eat too much, I make myself puke. Some people say I'm anorexic. I don't consider myself like one though. And to top it all, I have an anxiety disorder. And no, it's not 'awesome'.

So that's pretty much me. Other than that, I live on 1431 Dunbar Street, in Vancouver. I'm 19 and my name is Hayley Jennings. My best friend is gay, and his name is London. My other best friend is Kyla.

And this is why I'm taking heroin.. Because I just can't take it anymore.

The feeling of being high on heroin is indescribable. I felt like everything was perfect. I felt like from now on, everything would be fine. When the effect of the heroin faded, so did the happiness.

I just lay in my bed for a few hours, and slowly I fell asleep.