𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙝𝙞𝙢

𝙩𝙚𝙣

It had been about three weeks since I had last seen you. Two weeks ago I tried a couple times to go to your house but every time your mum would apologise and shut the door on me.

I thought the pain would numb over time but so far it had just gotten worse. My heart felt so heavy all the time. I was never hungry and I was starting to lose quite a lot of weight. I hadn't gone out the house or seen anyone.

I had decided that today I was going to get an answer for all of this. I was tired of you making me feel so fucking worthless. I deserved an answer.

I got the energy to put on some sweatpants and one of your Adidas hoodies I had never given back. I picked up my keys and drove over to your house once again.

Your Dads car was there which was strange because he worked pretty much everyday. I ignored hint one and walked up to your front door.

I knocked.

Your mum came to the door almost immediately. She looked awful. Her eyes were puffy and she looked like she hadn't slept in months. Her hair was messy and greasy but yet again I ignored hint two.

"Hi, Mrs Blaine I'm so sorry to be visiting again but I need to talk to Easton. I don't mean to be barging in like this but I think I deserve to see him,"

She looked so torn by what I had just said. Why wasn't she just letting me see you?

"Tayla sweetie, I'm so sorry to tell you this but Easton past away a couple nights ago,".

This had to be some sort of sick joke. You were fine a couple weeks ago. I kept telling myself it wasn't true.

"I am so so sorry Tayla, I know how much you loved him,".

I dropped to my knees. Why? How? When?

"I do have something to give you," she said in a hopeful voice.

I looked up to see her holding out an envelope and a small box. She placed them into my hands and told me to open them somewhere safe.

"I'm always here if you need me Tayla, just remember that," she said with a smile and a few tears escaping her eyes.

I rushed into my car and went to the only place I could think of right now.

The lake.

I crawled out of the car with the two items in my hand and sat next to the lake. It was just how we left it. The water was so peaceful and I couldn't help but shout in anger.

"This world is so fucking unfair!"

"I don't understand why you had to take him away from me!"

I stood there like I was waiting for a response but.

Nothing.

After I had, had a moment to breathe, I opened the envelope. Inside was a handwritten letter. I recognised the handwriting almost immediately. I started to read.

Hi Tay,

Firstly I wanted to apologise for all the shit I've put your through these past weeks. I promise I have an explanation for everything but none of it will make up for what I did to you.

I guess I should explain what has been happening then.

I took a deep breath before carrying on reading.

In the morning of the day I stayed over at yours, I got a call from my doctor saying they needed to check up on me. I had been having a couple chest problems again but nothing I hadn't had before. After they did some tests they found out I had yet another chest infection caused by my COPD but this one more serious than my others.

They told me I would have to stay in hospital for longer so they could check it out. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to worry you. I wasn't too worried myself as it didn't seem to serious at the time but then I remember hearing my mums sobbing. I knew that it couldn't be good.

So the doctors proceeded to tell me that it was deadly for me and I would probably only have a maximum of 2 months to live. Nothing can prepare you for when those words come out of a doctors mouth.

But the thing that sprung to my mind first was you. How would I tell you? I simply couldn't.

I know this was a selfish idea but at the time it was the only thing I could do. I broke up with you, hoping you wouldn't ask any questions and be too mad at me to visit. It was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do but I followed through with it.

And here we are now. I don't understand why I had to be removed from this planet so soon but as long as you're still living, I don't mind.

My only regret was not spending my last weeks with you.

I don't want you to be sad or grieving. All I ask of you is that you carry on living. If not for yourself, for me.

I know it's probably hard right now but life is the best gift and I would never want to take that away from you.

I love you forever Tayla and I hope to see you again,

Love from Easton xx

P.S - I left you a little something which will hopefully remind you of me :)

I tore open the box to see your gold ring laying there. I immediately put it on and froze.

I was left alone in this world, once again. But this time I had memories. I had the memories of you and those were what would keep me going.

"I will live for you Easton Blaine, I promise," I smiled dearly as I looked out towards the lake.