Forever Yours

TEN

Roxy couldn't explain it, but there was something about babies that could make even the biggest sadness or problem melt away. Maybe it was their innocence, their big eyes taking in the world they didn't quite yet understand, their chubby little hands that grabbed for everything within reach or the way they kicked their legs when they got excited. Whatever it was, Roxy wished she could have it bottled. A fleeting moment of sadness filled her. It wasn't like she could have her own. Not yet anyway, and heartbreakingly, maybe not ever.

Roxy's thoughts drifted to the fight with Kayla yesterday. They'd never had a fight before. It made her wonder if it really was just about Cordelia, or if her best friend had been holding in her resentment for what she'd done to Isaac. The bitter words she'd said in the paddocks held a sting larger than being in the heat of a moment. They'd been projected with a venom that told Roxy Kayla had been holding them in for a long time. The decision she'd made. Another decision she'd made for someone else.

When had she began acting like an Alpha rather than a best friend? Ever since she'd stepped up to the role, she'd told herself that she wasn't one for leadership, that she wouldn't do things the way Isaac had. But it turns out she'd adapted to the role better than she'd thought. She was keeping secrets, hiding them away from the people she cared about so as not to hurt them. To protect them. But the only way she couldn't hurt people was to be honest with them, no matter how ugly the truth was.

A little late for that now.

She winced, her ears ringing, as Cree suddenly let out a loud squeal of excitement from where he sat on her lap. Every three months, Cleo and Trent visited Moonlight Ridge for a few days. They would discuss any new progress in discovering a cure for the blood wolf curse, although in recent months as hope dwindled the visits became more for family catch-ups. Today Cleo and Trent had gone for a day out together, something which they now struggled to do with Cree as he got older. The days of being able to pop him down for a few hours nap were fading. So Roxy had volunteered to babysit, welcome to the joyous distraction from her fight with Kayla on top of everything else happening. Although she was beginning to wonder if babysitting a one year old and trying to get her work done at the same time was a good idea. She'd really underestimated just how much stimulation and effort babies required.

'Wait, Cree! No, don't touch–' Roxy watched with wide eyes when Cree picked up the computer mouse in his little chubby hands before tossing it over the desk. The cord tightened before flying from the port, eventually clattering to the floor in the middle of the room. '–that.'

She sighed tiredly and switched off the computer, calling it quits on trying to get any work done. Cree was oblivious to the drama he'd caused, grinning up at her before falling against her chest heavily. Roxy couldn't help but smile and cuddled him to her tightly, breathing in his baby smell of powder and shampoo. She placed a kiss on top of his head and brushed his blonde hair, which had now grown into a thick mop, out of his big blue eyes. She relished the feeling of his heavy little body laying against her, his round tummy stretching in and out against her hand with each breath he took.

'I really wish I could give you a little cousin to play with, Cree.' She stood him up in her lap and turned him to her, keeping a tight grip on his sides so he didn't fall backwards. He gave another excited squeal and she used his bib to mop away the saliva bubbles he'd blown through his lips. 'Maybe one day Uncle Isaac and I will be able to give you a play buddy. When everything is better of course, which I hope is some day soon.'

Movement by the doorway made her jump and she shot to her feet, placing Cree on her hip, as Isaac stepped into the office. Her cheeks flamed and she cleared her throat nervously as she made her way towards him, hoping to Moon Goddess he hadn't heard what she'd said. She knew he already felt guilty for being unable to give her the family she craved, even though it'd been her decision to turn him into a blood wolf. She didn't want to make him feel worse.