Give Me a Reason To Stay [Kagehina]

Chapter 14: Retirement

[Fall, 2029 to December 22, 2030, Treia, Italy]

[CW: Brief mention of homophobia. Degradation.
Shameless and almost certain ill-advised use of Google translate; if you actually speak Portuguese, please forgive me]

The first couple of months after Hinata's final professional game were difficult to say the least. While he had already progressed through denial, anger and bargaining, he seemed to have settled nicely into the depression stage of grief.

He moped around their apartment during the day, hardly acknowledging when Kageyama went to practice, choosing instead to pretend his fiance was anywhere else except on the court without him.

He stayed in bed for too long periods, slept at odd hours, and hardly ever left the apartment for two months. Hinata acknowledged the grief, was keenly aware of the aching emptiness inside him that didn't seem like it could ever be filled again. He knew he was depressed, knew he needed to do SOMETHING, but couldn't quite manage it.

He also knew Tobio was worried about him and tried to allay his lover's fears, but it was difficult when he knew he really wasn't okay. He didn't want to lie to the most important person in his life. Kageyama tried to get him to do things, encouraged him to come to the gym with him, invited him to go out to dinner or to come to the grocery store with him, but Kageyama found only limited success. Maybe not surprising, but still upsetting.

One day Kageyama went to get a few groceries from the nearby store. He had invited Hinata to come, but Hinata had declined. When Kageyama arrived home, however, Hinata was nowhere to be found. All he saw was a note on the counter, "Went for a walk, home soon."

Kageyama didn't know whether to be happy or nervous about this development, given Hinata's recent reluctance to leave the house. What had changed?

He didn't have long to wait. Within an hour, Hinata came home, taking off his shoes and offering Tobio a small smile. He came over to where Kageyama was seated on the sofa, planted a kiss on his forehead and plopped down next to him.

"Everything okay?" Kageyama asked, still unsure of what this sudden change in behavior could mean.

"Yeah," Hinata said, then paused for a minute, needing to say more. "So, I went to the rec center today and I talked to the director, told her I wanted to volunteer coaching volleyball. She was very excited, guess they don't ever have enough volunteers. So, I guess I'll be doing that twice a week."

"Sho, that's great!" Kageyama responded, truly happy and relieved. This is one of the best things that Hinata could do right now, Kageyama believed, and he was secretly thrilled that Hinata had decided to give it a try.

"I'm not sure, but I think it will be good. I'll be working with young kids who have never played before, so nothing fancy, but it will be good to get out of the house and to... you know, do something with volleyball again."

"I agree completely," Kageyama gushed. "It's amazing, Sho. I'm proud of you. You're going to be such a great thing for those kids," Kageyama added, giving Hinata's shoulder a squeeze. "And this is going to be good for you too, I just know it."

***

[December 22, 2029]

A few months after Hinata's final game, they were celebrating with the team after a grueling match that they fortunately ended up winning. They were in a bar, the team and partners and coaches taking up most of the space. It was loud and rowdy considering their win and everyone was in high spirits. It also happened to be Kageyama's 33rd birthday, which was prompting their teammates to treat them to too many celebratory rounds. So far, the couple hadn't paid for a single drink, and Hinata was more than happy to take advantage of the birthday gifts, even if it wasn't his birthday.