Snowcrossed: Currently Under Construction

3. Fck it

Song:
"Fuck it" - Glass Tides

Spending Christmas with the Bell's was a tradition I never considered breaking. Not until this year, anyway.

I stood before the open hood of my sleek black '86 bronco, trying to get the piece of shit to start so I could bail and be as far away from Hadley and her new boyfriend as possible.

"You kind of live here," Luke smirked from the lawn chair he dragged over—a Carhartt toque covering tawny locks, so different from his sister's sable coloured hair.

I took a sip of my beer, wiping smears of grease from my hands with the rag I pulled from my back pocket. Unable to shake the feel of Luke's mischievous grin, but I refused to look at him.

The smell of oil stuffed itself up my nose as I ran a knuckle beneath—hands bracing either side of the hood.

I hadn't spoken to Hadley since she left last spring and the thought of staying for Christmas— "Hand me that wrench."

"Hand me that wrench," Luke mocked, hobbling over to hand me the requested tool from the table next to him. "Where you gonna go?" He asked, jabbing his chin as he stood next to me.

I have no fucking clue, I wanted to say but refrained because I knew exactly what Luke would say.

I joined Bell Racing years ago in the Pro-lite circuit. An up and comer they called me. Fearless, determined, and fast as fuck. The decision made sense, considering how close the Bell's were with my parents, though that all changed after my mom left and my dad drank himself into oblivion.

"Anywhere's better than here," I answered, not bothering to hide the ire.

If Hadley decided to bring pieces of her new life back with her, that was her business, but I wouldn't stand around like the pathetic ex while she paraded her All-Star boyfriend all over town.

The mere thought had my blood boiling. And I hated it.

"Moms gonna be pissed," Luke said, elbowing his way into my mind.

Linda was Luke's mom—Hadley, Nate, and Johnny, but she'd always been there for me when I needed someone, even when I didn't want it.

Guilt cooled the fire in my veins, knowing she wouldn't be pleased, but I found myself saying, "She'll be fine." A lie, and he knew it. Linda was going to lose it once she found out I was gone. "It's one Christmas."

Luke folded his arms, itching the end of his nose with his beer hand. "Not to her. What are you gonna do for Easter? Summer? Me and Nate's birthday?"

I huffed a laugh. "I'm sure you'll figure something out."

Luke scoffed. "You're seriously gonna bail—on all of us? What about New Years?"

I ran the back of my tattooed hand across my cheek. Frustration blooming. "I dunno. This is Hadley's family, not mine." And if she were seeing someone else, I wouldn't stand in her way.

Thoughts of our last conversation came to mind, and all the stupid shit I said.

Luke looked me up and down as if he could sense where my mind had gone. It wasn't hard to guess. The few months before Hadley left broke me, and her leaving was the cherry atop the fucking cake.

Luke said, "You're just as much a part of it as she is."

There was no teasing in his words. Since I was sixteen, I had lived with the Bell's, but I'd been a part of their lives long before that. I moved in the night Hadley came to pick me up for a race and found me beaten and battered on my dad's living room floor. She called her father, and he rushed over with Luke and his twin Nate, and the three of them dragged me out of my father's trailer while Paul kept my angry father at bay. It was all a blur. When I woke, I was in the guest house, and I never left.

I sighed—disgruntled. Angry—and stared hopelessly at the piece of shit car I should have sold years ago, but the memories it housed meant more to me than its reliability, I supposed. It was the first item I purchased on my own. A rusted-out piece of junk Luke's father helped me rebuild.

The Bell's weren't as wealthy back then as they were now, and time was a luxury Paul couldn't afford, but he'd always made the time for his kids—myself included.

Luke took a swig of his beer. "You should be working on that Polaris," he teased, gesturing to the red and white snowmobile in the corner. Next to three others and the dirt bike—a KTM Johnny wanted winter-ready.

Keep taking money, I teased when I brought Johnny to pick up the bike last summer. KTM's were fast but fickle and required a shit load of maintenance which didn't help when their parts came from overseas. But he wanted it, so I went with him and purchased a snow track kit at the same time.

My eyes fell to the grey boot on Luke's foot. "You're this season's designated mechanic," I smirked. "Not me."

Luke rolled his eyes—his annoyance geared more toward his lapse in judgement.

"Was she worth it?" I asked, recalling the blonde he'd pursued only a week ago at the local bar. A tourist. One of many.

The way his legs flew into the air when he chased after her and slipped, tumbling down the stairs was everything. I nearly died laughing, but it worked. She felt so bad she hauled his ass up and remained in his lap the rest of the night while he drank the pain away.

Luke's laugh was like warm spirits on a winter's night—contagious and genuine. Much like Hadley.

When he didn't answer, I said, "Drink some more." Teasing him before taking another look at the fuel pump.

Luke gave me a brotherly shove, and I might have nudged him back had the sound of wheels crunching over the driveway's snow hadn't ground like teeth.

We both went quiet, listening as Linda's truck doors opened and closed.

One, two, three.

Her soft voice fluttered through the open door of the garage, followed by another I hadn't heard in months, and it hurt more than I cared to admit.

Luke's expression turned grim—a spark of anger flared that wasn't meant for his sister as he said, "Looks like Hadley's home."

A/N: I couldn't wait to post this! I hope you enjoyed reading from Baker's POV <3

Also, be sure to follow me on Instagram for sneak peeks and aesthetics. I posted Hadley's earlier today.