Fresh Start..

5 ~I thought you were dead~

chapter 5

A/N- Hello, i'm currently in a church on my laptop waiting to sing with the choir but got a few hours to kill. THIS FEELS SO ILLEGAL TO BE  IN A CHURCH IM NOT STRAIGHT...

TW- mention of death, sh, inferred panic attack (lmk if i've missed any)

I giggled to myself when Dream also fell asleep. Quackity gestured towards the door and I took the hint. We walked outside and sat together on the doorstep, no-one talked, yet we both had so much to say to one another. The silence was comfortable. His eyes were still dull, i didn't stop looking at them even once he had realised me staring. I loved him, not like i used to. Not in that way but he will always be my best friend.

I reached out and wrapped my arms around him. I was desperate to know what happened but i knew that when he was ready he would open up to me.

We stayed there for what must've been nearly 10 minutes without a whisper, until the silence was broken by the one and only, "Did he tell you?" Quackity asked, his voice hoarse.

I wasn't about to lie to him. I took a deep breath, "Yes," was all i said and squeezed my eyes shut, almost afraid for his reaction. I felt his body become less tense and a sigh came from his lips. I wasn't sure if the answer was what he wanted, expected. He was impossible to figure out. He attemped to talk once then coughed to clear out is throat, holding back tears. "Ok," was all he could muster out. He went to get up and i grabbed his hand. He pulled it away in a harsh manner. He turned and started to walk in the direction of the exit of the university. It was now my turn to hold back tears. "Quackity stop. I don't doubt you had shit going on when you left us but it sent me to a dark place. Yeah i might be selfish for bringing this up but you broke me Quackity." The tears were falling like rainfall at this point but i wasn't done, "I LOVED YOU AND YOU LEFT. I thought you were dead. I fucking mourned for you Alex. I had to help George out but i wasn't too poggers either. I FELT SO MUCH GUILT AND I THOUGHT THE PERSON I HAD TO BLAME WAS MYSELF. My body had to pay the price for that." I grimanced. 

Quackity who had been rooted to the spot turned and began walking towards me. He picked up one of my wrists his face showing pain and confusion, he tilted his head slightly. I nodded, my sobs audible. He carefully rolled up my sweater sleeve, i had a shirt under. He undid the few buttons on my wrist and rolled that up. Scars. So many scars. Some weren't even scars,  they were scabs still, some hadn't made it that far, there were so many recent ones that had been made that morning and the evening before. Believe it or not, finding out your best friend who you believed to be dead was infact not dead but tried to jump off a goddamn roof can be a lot to take in. 

My chest was tight and i couldn't breathe "Help me," i spluttered out.

553 words
A/N- really sorry for the short chapter, i keep getting stopped. Usually, you do anything with school and your freedom is very restricted but they're like "yeahn you can go to the toilets down the street or a cafe" like wth- Me and a couple friends went to the toilets and just kept shouting "dw we're not bunking school we're bunking church" it doesn't sound that funny now im writing it out but in the moment and with my friends i was actually pissing myself :)
-Tilly