*Ring!* *Ring!* *Ring!*
It was Aidan. Anon picked up his phone from his hospital nightstand.
"Hello?" Anon said.
"Hey Anon, it's Aidan. Just wondering if you can make it to D&D today."
"Idk, I might not be able to."
"We're doing a virtual session on Zoom so that you can join from your hospital, but if you're feeling overwhelmed and don't want to do it that's cool too. I know you love D&D though, so I hope to see you there."
"Will, umm?" Anon gulped. "Will Evelynn be there?"
"No, she's busy studying for finals. I am too, but I'm pretty prepared, so I'm sure a few hours of D&D won't hurt."
"Awesome. I'll be there. When's the session?"
"Uhh, the session's today, at 4. I'm curious though, what's so awesome about Evelynn not being there?"
"Oh, umm, I meant that it's awesome that you're prepared for finals."
"Oh, gotcha. Sick, man. See ya at the session!"
Aidan hung up.
Anon set his phone back down on the wooden nightstand.
Lying back in his hospital bed with his laptop in hand, He closed the Reddit thread he was in and opened up 4chan. He always tried to stick to Reddit for as long as he could before switching over to 4chan, for basic mental health reasons, but his efforts were futile. The people on Reddit were just too nice, too respectful, too civilized. The people on 4chan, on the other hand, had an edge to them. They had some teeth, and they knew when to use the n-word to make a point. Unlike the softies on Reddit, they actually had interesting things to say.
People say that being nice is a good thing. But Anon didn't think so. According to him, people who are nice really want to be mean, but they're just too afraid to do it. People who are mean, on the other hand, are brave enough to speak their mind. They're not afraid of being called "savage" or "uncivilized". For them, those words are compliments.
Anon admired the 4chaners. He was taught that society was great, and that life was a picnic. "Just follow your bliss and everything will be ok!" his 5th grade teacher used to tell him. But these 4chaners had seen the dark side to society, and they had lived to tell the tale. What they had seen had left them scarred, but it had also awakened them to the true state of the world.
They were kind of like Joker.
Anon scrolled 4chan for a few hours, then joined the D&D Zoom call at 3:52, a few minutes early. Aidan and Max were already there.
"Hey man, how have you been?" Max asked. Then he lowered his voice. "Sorry, I hope you don't mind me asking, but dude, how did the fire start?"
"I was trying to cook a low cholesterol casserole," Anon said. "And then the stove just set things on fire. I don't know, man. It all happened so fast."
"I didn't know you cooked," Aidan interjected. "You do it a lot?"
"Not really. Every once in a while."
"That's cool, man. Happy to see you taking on some hobbies."
"You're happy to see him taking on some hobbies!?" Max interrupted, with a goofy grin. "Anon, dude, what's up with you? What happened to the degenerate, incel Anon I used to know? You're taking on hobbies and stuff these days? That's awesome, man! I'm happy for you!"
Anon felt a little bit embarrassed. "I mean, I'm still pretty much 100% degenerate. I think the cooking thing was just a phase."
Max and Aidan both laughed.
Anon saw his opportunity, and he took it. "Hey, uhh, Aidan. Sorry if this sounds weird, but any chance I could, umm..."
Anon felt weak and flimsy. His voice was shaking a bit. He hoped that the shitty quality of his mic would hide it.
"Any chance you could what?" Aidan asked.
"Any chance I could, umm, get Evelynn's phone number?"
Aidan just stared at him, while Max turned away in second-hand embarrassment.
A smile slowly crept across Aidan's face.
"Dude, are you serious?"
"Yeah, Aidan, I am. I'm being brave. I'm shooting my shot."
"Shouldn't you be asking her, and not me?"
"Please, Aidan. You know I'm not the best with girls. Just do this one thing for me."
There was a long silence. Then Aidan burst out laughing, and Max did too. Soon both of them were laughing hysterically.
"Dude!" Max yelled. "You're a simp!"
"I know it seems cringey and silly guys," Anon said, his voice wavering, "but can you please do this for me? Please? I promise I'll be forever grateful."
"She's going to reject you, dude," Max said. "This can only end badly for you."
"I agree with Max," Aidan said. "I don't want you to get hurt. As a friend, I think I'm going to have to keep you safe and not give you her number."
Anon felt crushed. His entire torso felt like a crumpled up brown paper bag.
"Besides," Aidan said, "shouldn't you be asking her?"
There was a silence.
Finally, Anon lashed out.
"Dude, I get it! I'm a loser! I'm a degenerate! I'm worthless! You don't have to rub it in! You and your bitter, resentful antics. "Hey, look at me! I'm Aidan! I go to college! I'm so cool!" You are a fucking piece of shit, Aidan! I've been friends with you since high school, dude! I've put up with your bullshit for 8 years! And then, when I ask for one small favor, you can't do it for me! I couldn't have asked for a worse friend! In fact, you're not a friend at all to me! This is over, Aidan! I can't stand you anymore! Have a nice life, cunt!"
Aidan and Max were speechless.
"Piece of shit," Aidan muttered, and then he left the Zoom meeting.
Anon fumbled his sweaty fingers over his trackpad for a few seconds, and then clicked out of the Zoom meeting too.
To be continued...
