Anon had really thought that maybe Aidan had reconsidered things. That maybe he had seen the light. That maybe, just maybe, he had realized that not giving him Evelynn's number was a bit of a dick move.
But no.
Instead, Aidan had shat in a shoebox, slathered some wrapping paper on it, and sent it to Anon's hospital, as a "get well soon" gift.
What a dingbat.
Anon had been trying to swear less. He used "dingbat" now, instead of "idiot cunt piece of shit asswipe dickhole".
He had always had a sailor's mouth, although he hid it around his mom. It was probably from all the South Park he had watched as a kid.
Most people who watched the show hated Cartman, the fat, arrogant, narcissistic character. But Anon had always felt sorry for him. Cartman was clearly intelligent—he was able to execute complex and morally appalling plans with success—and so was Anon, so he related to Cartman. Anon and Cartman also had similar problems with society.
"I would never let a woman kick my ass," Cartman once said. "If she tried something, I'd be like, Hey! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"
Anon felt the same way.
"Politically incorrect" is what people like Cartman and Anon were called. To them though, the label was a badge of honor. It meant that they had successfully pissed someone off.
Pissing people off used to be number 2 on the list of things Anon enjoyed most. Now that D&D was gone, however, it quickly rose to number 1.
Anon loved making the nurses that were assigned to him question their sanity. He would ask for something, like a glass of water, and then, when they came back, he would say "I didn't ask for that." When they said "yes, you did," he would just look at them like they were crazy, then sigh and shake his head. "Fine, I guess I'll drink it..." he would mutter.
That was called gaslighting, right?
Another one of Anon's tricks was to just sit in the bathroom, even when he didn't need to use it. People would knock, and then wait outside, pacing around. Finally, after 5 or 10 minutes, they would decide to go to the one downstairs instead. As soon as he heard them just start to go down the stairs, Anon would then "finish up" and open the bathroom door, forcing them to climb back up.
People say that life in a hospital sucks, but Anon was enjoying it.
He also knew when the nurses would come into his room, so that meant he knew when his alone time was. That was when Anon would feed his addiction.
Anon had been addicted to things in the past, like vaping and video games, but those addictions were minor. This was different. Now, all Anon could think about, all the time, was his addiction.
And what was Anon addicted to?
Egirls.
To be continued...
