Anon had taken a philosophy class in his senior year of high school. One of the assignments in that class was to write a philosophical argument. Back in high school, before he had gone numb, Anon still had an edge to him, and he had decided that he would channel his edginess into his philosophical argument. On the day that it was due, Anon smirked and turned in a 7 page essay entitled "Beauty doesn't Exist".
In his essay, Anon argued that beauty was a myth. He argued that the things that people find beautiful, like music and women, are actually ugly, even disgusting. Music was disgusting, for example, because it was just noise, but for some reason people got all melodramatic and pretended that it had some sort of deep meaning. Anon had even used to like music, before he realized how stupid it was.
And women—well, that was a different matter entirely. "Don't even get me started on women," Anon wrote. "They're the most ungrateful, resentful, bitter, two-faced, and cruel creatures on the planet. And if you don't believe me, just ask one out. Then you'll know exactly what I'm talking about."
Anon got a bad grade on that essay. He had to talk to the teacher after class, and he received a letter home due to the essay's "fervent and blatant misogyny". But he didn't care. He loved to watch people lose their shit over his opinions while he sat there calmly, smirking. It made him feel like he was better than them.
As a high schooler, Anon had written "beauty doesn't exist" to be edgy. But since then things had become more clear in his mind. He now saw that there was nothing "edgy" about it. It was just the truth, plain and simple.
Anon ended his essay with a paragraph only one sentence long. "Nothing, and I mean nothing," he wrote, "can change my mind on this topic."
Which was funny. Because something eventually would change his mind on that topic.
And she was standing right behind him.
Anon turned around.
Instantly, he was stunned. It was like a hammer had struck him upside the head, hard, but somehow in a way that didn't hurt.
"Uhh, Hi, I'm Anon," he barely managed to say, stumbling over his words.
It was a miracle that he had even managed to say anything at all, because standing in front of him was a beauty so sacred, so unspeakably divine, that as soon as he finished his sentence she had completely stolen his breath, and left him completely and utterly speechless.
"Hi Anon! I'm Evelynn."
They shook hands.
Anon realized that his hand was really sweaty, and Evelynn did too. She flinched a bit at the warmness and wetness. When the handshake released, she wiped the beads of sweat off onto her pant leg. She looked a little bit disgusted.
"Umm, good to meet you I guess Anon."
She went inside. Still in a state of post-traumatic shock, Anon just stood there.
God, she was so beautiful.
"You out there, Anon?" Aidan called from inside.
Anon didn't respond.
"Dude, you there?"
Again, no response.
Anon heard Aidan start walking towards the door, and he instantly sprinted down the street, back towards his house.
"Anon, dude, where are you going?!" Aidan shouted.
But Anon didn't turn around
Why?
Because Anon had just had the best idea in the history of mankind.
To be continued...
