*Beep*
*Beep*
*Beep*
Was that Anon's alarm?
No, it was his heart rate monitor.
"He's awake," he could hear somebody say, but it was weirdly muted, like Anon was underwater.
As he sat up, the whole world felt distant, like he was looking at it through seran wrap. He could see that there were tubes coming out of him, and people in blue masks huddled around, but it all felt like a dream.
"Take it easy champ. You might want to lay back down."
It was a nurse. He was a round, portly man. His voice was calm and reassuring, so Anon did as he said.
"We were able to stop the clotting fairly quickly, so you should be ok. No one knows exactly what happened, but we think you may have had some sort of anxiety induced seizure."
Clotting? Seizure? Those were scary words.
Anon knew that he was supposed to be scared right now. But instead, he felt oddly calm. Usually, his mind was a pandemonium of thoughts, but now there was a great silence within him. He felt empty, but in a good way, like all of his mental gunk and bullshit had been flushed out.
He felt kind of like a monk.
"If I die," Anon said, "I want my mother to know that I loved her, and that I'm so grateful for everything she's done for me. And I want my friends Aidan and Max to know that I'm sorry for everything."
The nurse chuckled. "You're not going to die, young man. It was just a minor blood clot. We'll keep you on light medication for a few more days, just to be safe, and then we'll wait a few weeks for your burns to finish healing. After that, you're all good to go home."
Anon had no home to go back to, of course—it had been burned down—but he still felt better knowing that he wasn't about to die.
At the same time though, if he really was about to die, he would have accepted it. The Zen state of mind that he was in allowed him to see that all of life was just an endless cycle of love and understanding, and that greed, lust, and resentment were pointless aberrations, only detracting from life's eternal celestial splendor.
It all made sense now.
"What are you smiling about, young man?" the nurse asked playfully.
"Life is just, you know, a cycle," Anon said, and then he started giggling. The nurse looked confused, but started laughing too.
Anon could feel the warmth emanating all throughout the room. It was like his entire field of vision was being eclipsed by light and love. He felt like, despite all the struggles, despite all the heartbreak, despite all the sorrow and aching soul, maybe he was worth it. Maybe he was ok. Maybe he was worth loving.
Anon started to cry.
"How are you doing, Anon? Are you ok?"
"Don't call me that. Call me Chris. That's my real name."
"Are you ok, Chris?"
Chris laughed through the tears. Not a forced laugh, but a genuine one. There was true joy in his face.
"Nurse," Chris said, "I'm more ok than I've ever been in my life."
The end.
