Who am I?

Tired of you

When I am so much important to you, why aren't you answering my calls? Why are you always calling me when you need something? I am tired. Tired of being in this world with you. Tired of your broken promises and the hopes that you give me whenever you say you'll stay. Why won't you let me go when you don't even want me anymore? Am I just a toy to you or why the fuck to you just compliment my body and not my face or my character. I am so tired of you but you always manage to get back into my brain without even doing anything. 

I just wish you would let me go so I can finally sleep again because if I would sleep right, now you wouldn't let me. You would wake me up and force me to stay awake so you can fuck with my brain. 

J.T.05.02.2022

This goes to a person I once really liked. 

 The only love I get from you is when you hate me so please don't let me go because I need this Love. I need this fucking love to stay. 

When I am gone you don't need to worry about me again and you can find your peace but please let me also find my peace and don't come after me, I couldn't handle that. I don't want to be gone but I don't want to be here either it's just so hard to stay but also too hard to go. Why don't you just let me fucking go I want my mind back, my heart, my soul I WANT ME BACK 

This soon will be over and you don't have to worry about anything because without me you can get more chicks that are way better than me, you won't be angry anymore because I am gone. You don't need to look after me because I am gone. You don't have to work for two because I am gone. You don't need to cheat again because I am gone. 

So now I am gone but you don't look happy. You sit on my grave with a bottle of vodka, are those tears? Why are you crying I thought you were better without me? I thought you would find somebody new? I thought you would finally be happy again? 

I am sorry that I ruined everything again. I am sorry that your down again but maybe one day you will understand my pain. For all that now I am sorry. 

I don't want to be your end, I wanted to be your new beginning but it seems like I ruin everything you built. 

Maybe one day I will find the peace that you wanted when you screamed at me 

You won't believe me  but I found myself again, I found myself back in the dark, in a little box without any light. Where I found it, it was very cold and there wasn't any space but It was big enough for my body to hide for the rest of your life. 

I blamed you my whole life but maybe you were right and it was all me.