Eating Alone

Part 1- The Backstory

Toni Topaz. That wasn't her real name, no, just a nickname to hide the embarrassing fact she has the name of an elder. She was named after her grandmother, and she couldn't have been more honored. But going through high school with that name? It was time for a change of identity.

So, before her middle school years were closed, she made it known she would've liked to be referred to as Toni. Toni Topaz. It was cool, laid back, and between us, a gender neutral name.

She was more of a 'keep to myself because I don't want attention' type of person. She kept a tight group, and it was very rare for her to recruit new friends. Even with the friends she did have, she didn't talk to them, not as much as you may have thought.

When Toni was about 15, her father passed. It was a shootout at his job, resulting in numerous deaths within the facility; him being one of them. When the news came back to Toni and her mom, it broke the both of them.

Toni had lost her bestfriend, and her mom had lost her husband. Toni fell into a state of depression, worse than anything she could have experienced in her entire life.

Ever since then, she stayed to herself-- actually took the oppurtunity to have the online school option for her for the rest of her sophomore year. It wasn't Toni didn't want to go to school, it was the fact that she felt out of the ordinary now.

With her father's face plastered on the news, for over a week, it was already creeping behind her that she was the black sheep. She was already given sympathy. All Toni wanted was her dad. That's all she wanted.

When the situation occured, her mom became an addict-- of both drugs and alcohol. It became heard on Toni, as well. She has to get herself out of bed each morning to find the downstairs trashed, vodka bottles, pill bottles on the floor.

Each day she had to deal with this was complete torture. Her mom never touched her, unlike how other people couldn't relate. She would get yelled at, a bit more harshly than normal, but all she did was keep those eyes in until the night time where she cried herself to sleep each night.

One day, everything changed for the brunette. She came downstairs to a clean living room, dining room, and kitchen. She looked around, but her mother wasn't there.

Instead of her drunken mother being passed out on the couch, there was an envelope-- three, to be exact, and a note beside them all.

T, I'm sorry to do this, but I can't be around you anymore.
I'm going to be gone for a while. I don't know how long, but until I can be a better mother for you, then that's when you'll see me.

I love you
-Mama

The note made Toni break into tears. She was alone. Truly alone this time, and all she had was herself, in this big estate, with cars she wasn't able to drive until a few months.

She sat on the couch, her knees against her face, as she cried and cried. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't. She didn't have the energy to do so. When the cries slacked up, she looked at the envelopes on the table for a while.

After moments and moments of contemplation, she was going each and everyone one of them, finding big wads of money in the envelopes. An estimates amount of about 500 grand in each envelope.

She sat back, looking at the money that she had laid out on the table. The only thing running through her head was, what the hell was she going to do?

The brunette then had to finish the rest of her sophomore year in a house, alone. Did she mind? No, not really, because of the peace it brought to her. But she also missed having other people in the house with her, giving her a conscious comfort of not being alone.

It was hard most nights. Not being able to talk to people because her pride getting in the way of her vulnerable side. She thought about how her dad wasn't going to come home at night, with a new souvenir, telling her about the day of work she had.

And she didn't have her mom to give her a kiss whenever she was mad. She was missing it all. It happened too soon, and too fast. She hated it.

In June, when summer break started, she started reaching out to her friends, asking if they could hang out. And without question, they planned a day full of... teenager-like activities.

Things were going to get better for the brunette, she know it would, but she was so scared. So scared of the outside world; especially the part that took her dad-- and could possibly take her.

She was ready for happiness. The one she was going to find herself.

Hope you enjoyed this. I thought of this when I misread a title for a book. What a spark of creation, right?

Thank you for reading, byeeeeee

-Ley<3