There Are No Answers // Falsettos

The Kid

That's not the only bombshell that Marvin drops that week, believe it or not.

"I want you to meet them," he says almost as soon as he walks in the door. He's been coming over a lot after work, I suppose because his wife isn't expecting him to be home much anymore.

I give him a blank look. "Who's 'them'?"

He sighs. "Trina. And Jason."

Jason. After a beat I realize that's his kid. He wants me to meet his family. The family he just left for me. What. The. Fuck.

He must see my reluctance, because he quickly continues. "Look. I know it's not ideal, but if this..." —he gestures to me, to us, to the unspoken of— "is going to go anywhere, I want you to be a part of his life." And I know by "his," he's specifically referring to Jason.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that," I say hesitantly. And then, because we're being honest, I ask him the question I've been wanting to ask him all week. "Did you tell your wife... Trina... about me?"

Marvin pauses. "Yes," he answers. "Yes, I did. A few weeks ago." So, before the divorce. I don't know when it was, but I don't ask any further. "She said she wasn't surprised, but I guess she never expected..." And he doesn't have to say it, because we both know what he means.

"So...?"

"So... what?"

"Does she want to meet me too?"

He looks uncomfortable. "I haven't spoken to her about it yet."

I'm sure if Trina had her way, she would never meet me. She probably hates me. And the kid. I mean, Jason. I doubt Marvin or Trina even told him about me, or about the divorce, or any of it. I saw him, only a few weeks ago, in the store. He was young. Probably too young to comprehend all of this.

"So."

"Can you stop saying 'so'?" Marvin asks me.

"I want to meet your wife first."

He raises his eyebrows. "Wait, you really want to do this?"

No. "Yes. If I'm going to meet your family—" ex-family— "I want to get to know her before the two of you put this on the poor kid. Unless you already have."

"No, we haven't told Jason. He's only ten. I can't imagine how he would take it." He chuckles a little, but it's not sincere, and neither of us are looking at each other. "But... sure. I'll ask her."

She'll say no. And then I won't have to do this. I never thought I would say this, but I almost miss the days we would sneak around behind his wife's back, unbeknownst to anyone but us.

Trina wants to meet me. I'm surprised. Not just surprised, terrified. I can't even worry about making a good first impression, because her first impression of me was when Marvin told her about his affair. I am already doomed.

"It's going to be okay," Marvin assures, since he can tell how nervous I am.

"How did she react? When you asked her to meet me?"

"Well. She wasn't in love with the idea." Obviously. "But we had a long talk about it last night, and she said that it might be better for the both of us if she knew this person I've been telling her about."

He's been telling her about me. And she wants to know me. And I don't know if that's good or bad, but we're in the car, and I'm going to be inside Marvin's house, with him and his wife.

Jason is at school today. I can tell by the missing pair of shoes in the front hall, and the papers scattered across the coffee table, likely forgotten homework. I stand up straight and try to look more professional. How professional can you really be, I wonder, in a meeting with your boyfriend(?)'s ex-wife?