The Flying Dreams

CHAPTER TWENTY- THREE

The metro ride to college went in anguish and wonderings. I didn't even pay attention to the romantic songs in my earphones, which was a miracle in itself— I loved listening to songs. I could spend hours just sitting in one place if I had music. Not the type Wahab listened to or even Shifa. They both apparently preferred noisy, loud foreign music. I didn't even understand the words in Shifa's ringtone. I believe, ardently and firmly that there was no joy better than listening to a song and being drawn into its meaning. How could someone do that while listening to a song in a language they don't even comprehend? I usually let myself be completely lost in the rhythm but that day, I just couldn't. My mind was wandering a bit too much for me to concentrate. I still let the earbuds stay inside my ears and spent the 45 minutes, pondering over what my mother said. Jihan bhai's engagement and Shifa refused to go. Why, though? As much as I knew her—she loved her brother then why wouldn't she want to be there for one of the most important days in his life and it led me to think that perhaps I had judged her enthusiasm too early. Perhaps it was not really love. Then my mother had asked about her character. Why? I remembered her parting words—I have a lot of things to tell you. What things? Maybe I should not have been too eager in hanging up her call because now I knew—my whole day was going to be spent with my half mind absent. Which, in all honesty, sucked for me.

Divya was standing outside on the ground, and I saw Vivek and Rohan, too, leaning on a tree and talking to each other while Divya was staring at her phone. I didn't hesitate to walk over to them, and it was Vivek who waved at me first. That was a trio I would have never even dared to befriend. Divya in her jean overalls and a yellow hoodie, her white coat dangling from her bag. Nope. Zoya would have said so many things about her and I recalled Wahab making not-so-nice comments on a girl who wore a jean and a sweater. And the other two were, well, boys. My mother didn't allow such conduct. As soon as I got my first periods, I was stopped from talking to male cousins. The boys in my family knew as well. They knew that no matter how strong affections they shared with their female cousins, they couldn't approach them in public anymore.

"You're late. Did you know Rohan is on Tinder? He just told me!"

Vivek practically jumped in excitement and I had no idea why. Divya just scoffed and came forward, her arms circling around my neck, and I held her back. I could never forget the first time she hugged me after knowing her for two days. So casually, so normally. I had been left a little stunned and did not know what to do. She might have gotten the idea that I was not entirely comfortable by the sudden pause in my breath and the tensed shoulders and raised her brow in an apologetic gesture. No words came out of my mouth and the next day, she did it again. But then, I was prepared and when her hands clasped behind my neck, I knew what to do. She had grinned and nudged my shoulder with her palm. And said, See? Easy. I was only thankful that the boys didn't try to hug me, too. Although, they usually parted with Divya with a hug. And I could only wonder how they got the idea not to try to embrace me. My hijab and fiancé might be the reason.

"Good morning, I woke up late. And no, I didn't know."

The response got Rohan hit with a fist on his forearm.

"You sly dog! Let me check your inbox. It's only fair."

"Oh, shut up! You're making my head dizzy with your annoying voice."

The rest of the day passed in a blurred haze. I was wrong when I thought I might not be able to concentrate on my studies. The time spent inside the laboratory and cafeteria was my favourite part of the day. I enjoyed cutting the stock frogs and more than that, the look on Divya's face when it was her turn. She hated the part and often lamented the fact that all students had to work in the lab when half of them were going to pursue other fields. She wanted to be a pediatrician. I wouldn't need to apply autopsy on children!

At the end of the day, I asked only Divya to come over. I had waited for us to be alone and when the two boys excused themselves from the table to go to the library. I tried to get rid of the tugging guilt inside my head, but I didn't want the fury of Wahab on me again. Obviously, I couldn't extend Shifa's invitation for a Saturday movie night to them. Wahab would instantly know. Shifa wouldn't tell him, I knew that for sure. But still, I wanted to be sure.

"A movie night? Sounds fun, I'm in. Don't tell Rohan yet, he gets really excited over movies. Don't know why, really."

Divya, of course, assumed that it was for all three. I didn't say anything and when it was time to leave the campus, she told them. And she was right about Rohan getting excited for no reason at all. It was just movies. And then, at last, I remembered Shifa's face. The excitement on her face when she talked about movies. What was the deal? They needed no further word and the ride back to Shifa's apartment went with Rohan telling all about the new movies and which one he would love to rewatch. Only Vivek listened.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

I didn't have to pretend to think, "Nothing. Just laundry. You?"

"I am going to visit one of my friends."

She soon joined the other two and I kept my eyes on the window. The sky was barely visible in the darkness and my mind went back to Shifa. I had promised my mother a call and wondered if I should call her once I reached the flat. She probably had wanted to talk about Wahab's family, and I did not think it was the right thing to do in his cousin's home. What if she overheard us talking, and knowing my mother it wouldn't be nice stuff? The station was only at a few minutes' distance and Divya asked if we should make our way toward the doors. I nodded. Thankfully for me, the train was usually less crowded in the evening and even morning when I managed to get out of the door early.

My phone rang as soon as I stepped out of the metro and the name brought a smile. I let the phone ring and seeing Shifa calling me tickled my funny bone. Though, I should've been more aware of my surroundings because soon Divya's voice was near my ear. Her breath really tickled me and on instinct, I moved my phone away from her sight.

"Wahab jiju?"

Then they laughed and walked ahead of me, I heard Vivek saying something along the lines of giving the couple space. The warmth I felt in my ears was the worst I had ever felt. And my heart, my heart almost burst out. I swiped up the green button and Shifa's hello only worsened my already out-of-control heartbeat.

"Where are you?"

I answered, placing my card on the machine and catching up with Divya as the boys had started to make their way out of the station, "Almost there. Why?"

"Okay. Hurry."

And with that, she cut the call. I had no time to overthink. We only had to walk a few minutes to reach Shifa's flat and Rohan made us stop and wait to buy some snacks. He didn't ask for preference and bought whatever. And now with all our hands buys with at least one bag full of junk food, we walked. They were talking and I listened. Sometimes passed smiles to whoever looked my way. The loud laughter of Rohan on one of his own jokes forced us to laugh too and I wondered how was I so okay with living my life without this?

It was only half-past six and the sky was already dark, the air was cold, and the streets were full of life. We passed the tea stall where Shifa had taken me on the first day. And the joy of it, just being there to share in my friends' laughter lit my heart with glee and something unexplainable.