The Flying Dreams

CHAPTER FIVE

Conversation with Wahab was a little disturbing and alarming. First, he asked me about the train ride, then said he missed me already, I might have blushed at that and found it hard to speak with a normal tone. Especially, since his cousin was humming constantly to herself and the paranoia that she must have heard him say it was scaring me in and out. I cleared my throat and diverted the topic.

'Wahab?'

'Hmm?'

'You don't mind, do you?'

It was stupid of me to keep thinking of our little talk back in the station where he expressed his half-hearted will to let me stay with his cousin. Initially, I was apprehensive of it but then Shifa showed up in the attire Wahab strongly criticized and I understood his point. He was worried I was going to forget my boundaries just like his cousin did. I had to voice it out to him— I won't ever do something which he disapproved of. That wasn't what I was taught.

'Mind what?'

My eyes shifted to Shifa, who was mindlessly bouncing her phone. I couldn't just speak ill about her in front of her. I tried the other way to go about it.

'The thing we talked about at the station?'

He was silent for some time— perhaps fumbling around in his head to find what I was trying to say. Then it clicked— it took some time, but it did.

'Oh. Is she close?'

'Yes, we are going to her apartment in an auto but don't worry about it. Just answer me, please?'

I heard him sigh on the speaker, my heart skipped a beat. He was still upset and for some reason, that made me want to cry.

'Adia, there's nothing we can do about it now. But listen to my words, okay? Don't let her influence you, I don't want my future wife to be like her.'

On my side, Shifa's phone rang and she smiled. The kind of smile I do whenever Wahab called or texted. I had to look away and bid goodbye to him. He hung up first after reminding me to keep him updated, always. Like I would ever forget. Sometimes I had fervent urges to tell people not to keep repeating their words— I hear them for the first time and there was no need for them to act like I was deaf or stupid. I was not stupid. Often kept my words inside my mouth in order to be polite, but I was not stupid. For some odd reason, they took my politeness to a completely different place which was irritating. How hard was it to tell difference between being nice and being an idiot?

A few months ago, I expressed my irritation to Wahab, he nodded his head along with me, but I knew he was not listening, not really. The lazy smile on his mouth and the fake shocked expression he made whenever I cursed those people— specifically my aunts, was a huge sign of his half attention. He was not taking me seriously, which was a usual thing for me. I found out that he seldomly took me or my words seriously. He heard me but never listened. So, after some time of watching him nod along and then alter the topic, I gave up and stopped telling him about those insignificant things. It was probable a boring subject for him and the last thing I wanted from him was to break the engagement with the reason of me boring him to death.

Shifa was smiling and laughing, obnoxiously loud and she was carefree with her words. Just throwing up anything that came to her mind. I wasn't eavesdropping but I couldn't exactly cover up my ears either. Apparently, she was inviting some people to her place tonight and one of them was refusing to come, so she was asking another one to just kidnap the uninterested person and bring her there, she would take care of the rest. Wow, that was all I had to say— wow.

'No! You are coming and you are to bring her too.'

Then I caught her trying to sneak a peek at me, she wasn't very subtle like I was. I believed I was very subtle and discreet, but she wasn't. The next thing I knew, she was talking about me or rather telling whoever was on the call with her about me. I, respectfully, turned my head to look straight at the back of the driver. I thought about bouncing my phone like her, but I knew I was uncoordinated with my hands and would probably drop the phone. I gripped it more tightly as if it was going to slip from my grasp.

'Yup but that won't be a problem. Aha, sure. Okay, bye.'

Whoever she was talking to was worried about the new company— me, of course, but she reassured them I won't be a problem. I was never a problem. I considered others very much a problem, but I won't put myself in that category. I tended to stay out of others' business but sadly, I found more noses than I could count in my business. As if whatever I do was open to the public.

'Hey, Adia, when does your college start?', she said my name a bit differently, she dragged the i and put more pressure on the a. I was about to correct her pronunciation but thought otherwise. Just because she lived away from our home didn't mean she forgot how to pronounce some very basic Islamic names.

'Not for another week', I thought and then craned my neck, 'Why?'

I watched her shrug and put her phone between her knees. Eventually, I concluded she had no responsibility towards her phone. It was like she wanted to drop her phone and then say it was an accident.

'So, medical school, huh? Your husband allowed it?', she threw another question on my face instead of answering mine. 

I could've let the lurking sarcasm in her words go and act like it was a normal conversation starter, I usually wasn't fond of calling people out on their impoliteness, I have never done that but something about her ticked me off and I wanted to let her know that I won't be fine with her unnecessary dose of outdated comedy. She was new and she had no right to talk to me like she was one of my aunts. Now, if she were then I would have just smiled and said nothing. But another part of me wanted to hold onto my mother's teachings— so, I gave a curt nod to her question.

 She immediately made me put her name in my 'stupid people' list when she addressed Wahab as my husband. How hard was it to get a simple thing inside their skull that I was not his wife? Not yet. 

We didn't talk after that. I was relieved, Wahab's words were looming over my head and they refused to fade anytime soon. He had asked to keep my distance from her specifically and who was I to point fingers at his judgement? He was her cousin; family and he knew her better. I looked out of the curtained wide window, the world was passing me by, and the cars were blurry due to the speed. This was what I had dreamt about. The dream Wahab made come true. The dream I was too afraid of. And now as I found myself sitting by Shifa's side, I finally allowed myself to rest my back against the backseat. My gaze dropped on my side and watched her hair almost cover her whole face, she lazily gathered her stray hair and put them behind her ear with an irritated noise. For as short hair as hers, she had a lot of stray hair falling around her face.

The auto driver played some song on the radio and she started humming again. I didn't even know the song.

'You would have to take the metro every day by the way. To your college.'

'You don't?'

'Nah, my college is within walking distance. But I am sure you'd adjust, won't you?'

I nodded. I thought I would adjust too. Back in my hometown, my father took me to college then my brother fetched me, I have never travelled on my own for my education and she said I needed to do it now. It was exciting and new and not at all like my easy life. But I found myself looking forward to the daily up and down. Something about waking up and going to college on my own without any supervision was almost making me giddy. I didn't realize I was smiling until I felt a light nudge on my side.

'Wahab in your mind?'

'What?'

'You are beaming, so? Are you thinking about that jerk?', there was a hint of playfulness in her voice, something eerily similar to Wahab but no, I was not thinking about him. I was thinking about myself and the newfound freedom of just going to places alone.

'No, your cousin isn't always in my mind.'

Then she laughed.

'Alright. Noted. Wahab isn't always in your mind.

'Good and while you are making notes, add another thing in there, will you?', she narrowed her eyes and I was on the verge of backing out but something inside me was screaming to let her know I didn't appreciate her previous comments. Without further pondering, I looked away from her and added, 'Wahab is not my owner.'