The Flying Dreams

CHAPTER TWENTY- SEVEN

"For real, Adia. A boy like our Wahab is very rare to find. You know, he kept making excuses for your absence and for a minute he was almost bragging about you to anyone willing to listen. He looked after me and your abbu throughout the event as if we were his parents. Even Zoya noticed it, here ask her."

I wiggled my feet and waited for Zoya to take the call and elevate my dampened mood, she said something to my mother about giving some privacy, and I heard an exaggerated sign, certainly of my mother's, a second of silence followed and at last, Zoya spoke. Her voice was full of tease and an easy playfulness which I would have been a part of if only my heart was actually on Wahab. Listening to my mother had done nothing but drown me in a sea of guilt.

"She's right, Adia. You truly found a gem of a husband. Wahab is so nice, and I am so jealous."

I faked a laugh and pretended to be happy hearing how great my fiancé was and how awful I was being by having a silly crush on no other than his own cousin. Zoya easily shared the laugh.

"Well, actually, he found me. And I take much pride in that. Thank you very much."

She giggled and with that, the topic was diverted to another topic I didn't want to talk about. Shifa's absence from her brother's engagement. I wondered, just for a minute, the amount of bad luck I carried around in my small stature of just 5'5. I was sitting on the sofa in the living room since Shifa had made her leave early in the morning and hadn't said a word of when she'll return, nor did I bother to ask. Whenever she went out like this, she usually came home late. So, without any worries of her hearing me talk about herself with my cousin, I gathered the courage and thought my next question thoroughly. Zoya was still blabbering about the hideous dress one of Wahab's cousins wore, and after listening to her, I decided I could ask her, and rest assured that she wouldn't say a word to anyone else.

I interrupted her in the middle of her rant about a guy who kept staring at her and made her uncomfortable to the extent that she had to leave early, "Why is Shifa so distant from her family?"

Zoya's sudden and long pause made me anxious and I grasped the fact that I shouldn't go around showing any interest in such matters, Zoya had a keen eye and surely, she would see through my curiosity, though, it was just a basic query about one of my fiancé's cousin with whom I was living and not enough to give away my constantly growing feelings for Shifa, I still feared. Then, to my relief, she said, "Wait, there's a whole history in this. Let me get to your room."

Letting out the strained breath, I tried to relax but then the door opened, and I almost jumped up from the surprise. Shifa looked equally surprised and gave me the most awkward nod I had ever received, I ignored it. Sure, it took more willpower than I cared to admit but her words from the last night had stung, and I knew it might be a failing effort, but I wasn't ready to face her. I kept my eyes on my lap and hoped Zoya would speak up soon and Shifa to lock herself inside her room but to my great horror instead of walking toward her room, Shifa came to stand right before me. A brown bag clutched in her hands and cheeks slightly red. Probably due to the freezing wind outside.

"Okay, so listen. And keep it in mind, whatever I am about to say is only the talk in the air. I have no proof of them being the truth, alright?"

I tilted my head and raised my brows at Shifa and completely avoided answering, still keeping the phone pressed to my ear. Zoya asked if I was alright and repeated her statement, thinking I failed to hear her. I waited for Shifa to move out of my sight, but she stayed in her place, looking everywhere but me and I felt bad seeing her being all uncomfortable, and at last, I told Zoya, "I have to go now, text me."

"No, there's no fun in texting. I want live reactions, not the prolonged ones."

I couldn't keep the small chuckle contained and nodded my head, knowing perfectly well how stupid the gesture was since she couldn't even see me, "Then I'll call you later. Bye."

After hanging up the call, I waited for something to happen or more specifically Shifa to speak since she wouldn't budge a bit, but nothing was said, and the silence was too thick with unease and weirdness. Why did she refuse to go away while I was on the phone when she didn't have anything to say? And on top of that, she wasn't looking me in the eyes which was unsettling in a way, she always did. Then, another thought came to my mind and I mentally slapped my head, she probably wanted her space on the sofa which I had occupied and uttered, "Sorry, you must want to sit here. I'll leave."

"No, I- no. I don't."

Confused even more than before, I leaned my back on the cushion, somewhat hesitantly, and deliberately elongated my one word, "Okay."

"Okay."

I could start explaining how tight the atmosphere was, but the words might not be enough and Shifa's discomfort was practically oozing out of every single pore in her body which made the whole situation even more awkward.

"I brought food."

I glanced at the brown paper bag in her hands and then at her, she faintly smiled, I was about to return the gesture, but restrained myself, her rude words were very much alive in my mind, and I wasn't going to pretend that she never said them, which, I thought might be her intention.

I squinted, "You can eat, then. I am going to study for a while."

Picking up my phone and shawl, I stood up. I believed I had made myself clear to her that I wasn't in the mood to forgive or even forget but Shifa said my name with an urgency that I had to turn back. There was an expression on her face which felt too familiar. I came to understand what she was trying to do and sighed.

"Adia, please. I- just, I, I am sorry. Let's eat? Please?"

Her apology sounded half-hearted as if she just wanted to get done with it and I shook my head, opened my mouth to tell her off but she beat me to it. Nodding, like she read my thoughts, she dropped her gaze to the ground and said, without once looking at me, "I suck at this and I know I shouldn't have been so rude but... but when you said lesbian movie, you sounded so... I don't know. I got defensive. I am sorry."

When she put the fact forward that I had been faintly disgusted with the notion of watching two women kiss on screen, I couldn't let her apologize alone. But finding the words to do so turned out to be more tedious than I had expected. If even if I did, it would be with reluctance since I was still not fine with the very idea of watching something like that. It was odd really—I liked a girl and yet it somehow sickened me to think about it. Shifa confessing that she got defensive was just a clear sign of her own romantic orientation and I had no idea how to respond to that. I ended up saying nothing at all.

"It was Jihan bhai's engagement yesterday."

"Which you refused to attend?"

Shifa frowned and scoffed, appearing to be completely mortified with the concept. Tipping her head back, she exhaled and seemed suddenly exhausted, "I didn't, my mother did. She forbade me to go. Now, please let's eat. I am starving."