Why I Stay

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I don't want to leave
You behind alone
Like I am.
Though
I'm hurting
Crying
Screaming
Hair pulling
Cutting
I am alone
Suffering
I will not pull
That trigger
I will stay
For I cannot think of
You over my grave.
While I dissociate
Mid-conversation
They criticize my lack
Of focus
While I apologize
Leaving words of help
Unspoken
In silence I stay
In darkness I wait
For death to call me home
But not yet dear brother
And dear lover
I'll yet stay for you.

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