All I Want for Christmas - Marina

Chapter 6: Carina

I notice the way Maya steps away, and it bothers me how much I want her to be close to me again.

"Won't you introduce me to your date?" Owen asks.

"Oh yes, of course. Maya, this is Dr. Owen Hunt. Owen, this is Captain Maya Bishop from Station 19." The two of them shake hands.

"I think we've seen each other a few times actually. You're the trauma surgeon, right?" Maya asks.

"I am. Now I know why you looked so familiar!"

"Yeah, I'm normally covered in soot when we see each other." The two of them laugh and recall previous instances of seeing each other in the ER. I feel slightly jealous that I don't get to see Maya as often as he does.

"Anyways, I'll let you two get back to your night. I should get this ice cream and get going or Teddy will murder me."

"Is she having cravings?" I ask thinking about one of my best friends and laugh.

"Yes and they're so random and specific. Like tonight she only wants vanilla ice cream from Cold Stone so here I am." Owen walks away, and Maya and I are left alone again.

"I really liked the rose you got me," I tell Maya trying to test the waters. I know the way I have been feeling this entire night cannot be one-sided. I know Maya has been physically attracted to me, but the things she said and the way she has been shows me it goes beyond physical attraction. There's something different about her tonight.

"I mean we have to sell this to Andrew," she replies.

"That's the only reason?" I ask having a hard time believing her.

"Yeah, why else would I get it?" She replies nonchalantly making me feel like a fool.

"Are you two ready to go?" Andrea asks stepping out of Cold Stone, hand in hand with Sam. I simply nod and start heading towards the car when Maya takes a hold of my hand, intertwining our fingers. The warmth of her hand helps the coolness of mine. I'm afraid if I stay outside any longer that I'm going to get sick. We walk back to Maya's car, and I notice her turn up the heat and turn on my seat warmer. It's small gestures like this with her that make me feel like she cares - about me.

The drive home is pretty quiet, and Maya still has my hand in her's. I know she's doing this for Andrea to see, but all of this has started to feel so real tonight. I look back out of curiously to find Andrea and Sam sleeping in the backseat. They look so at peace. I don't know if I'm being hard on Sam, but I remember how she completely broke Andrea when she randomly ended their relationship years ago. I just don't want her to hurt him like that again.

I look over at Maya who is hyper focused on the road, and I remove my hand from her's making her instantly look at me. I mouth to her that they're asleep.

"Oh," she whispers and puts the hand that was just in mine, on the steering wheel. I now pick at the white box in my lap holding the rose that Maya got me. I feel overwhelmed looking at it. My gut is telling me this gesture wasn't an act. Why do I not want it to be an act? Why do I want it to be real? Maya had explicitly said she didn't want to worry about someone falling for her. I need to pull the brakes.

Right on cue, Maya stopped the car letting me know that we were at my place. I turned back to wake up Andrea and Sam.

"Thank you for driving tonight, Maya," Sam says.

"The pleasure was all mine. Have a good night," Maya replies. I move to take off my seatbelt.

"Don't worry we will wait inside for you, Carina. You take your time," Andrea says with a smirk. Shit. He probably thinks we are going to kiss. Maya and I look at each other, both knowing what's coming next. Maya waits for them to walk into my apartment before she says, "He expects that we're going to kiss, doesn't he?"

"Yeah but he's inside. He won't know," I say reassuring her. I definitely don't feel confident when I say that.

"Are you sure?" She asks nervously.

"I don't know Maya. Both him AND Sam are nosy. They could honestly be watching from the window." Maya looks out of the car window toward my apartment, and I remove my seatbelt and lean in toward the drivers side to look out as well. We see the lights turn on and movement at the curtains. Yup. They're definitely watching. Maya turns to me, not realizing how close I am to her seat. Our faces nearly centimeters apart. Her eyes drop to my lips, and I know what's about to happen.

"I think we should just do it so this whole night doesn't go to waste," she blurts.

"How romantic of you to say that before our first kiss," I joke to ease my nerves, and I think I see guilt on her face. "Are you sure you want to?"

"I mean do I have a choice?" She asks and I tilt my head to look at her, irritated by her words. "Sorry. Yes I want to. It'll only help." I can hear her trying to convince herself.

Okay this is happening. Hopefully the kiss is so bad that I'll never want to do this again. I notice Maya's waiting for me to initiate the kiss, so I shift the weight to my left elbow as I lean in, brushing my lips against Maya's, and it's as if all the tension between us from the night has been building up to this exact moment. The feel of our lips together ignite that spark I felt on the golf course, in the restaurant, and honestly, the first time I laid my eyes on her in that ambulance. The moment she turned from the patient to me, and I saw her face. I know Maya must be feeling the same because she parts her lips, letting me explore, as she buries her hand into my hair. Pulling me closer and deepening the kiss. I shift my weight further towards her, nearly out of my seat as her head rests against her car window. Her hands now moving from my hair to cup my face. As I move in closer, I accidentally hit the car horn, and the realization of what just transpired between us sinks in. We pull ourselves away and look forward at the road. Say something. Anything. All that comes out is, "Woah."

Maya steadies her breathing and says the same, "Woah."

"I think I should get going," I say to her avoiding looking in her direction. I take the rose and thank her one more time for it as I step out of the car and get into my apartment. I hear her drive off.

"Get a room," Andrea jokes, confirming my suspicions that him and Sam were watching. See we had to do it. We needed to. We didn't want to.

"Are you two spending the night?" I ask ignoring his comment, taking off the blazer on my shoulders and realizing I have Maya's clothes.

"Nope, we will be heading out. I had such a great time tonight!" Andrea says while Sam remains silent next to him. I think she has understood I want nothing to do with her. Andrea gives me a hug and says, "It's so clear you two like each other. She's the best thing that has happened to you, Carina. I'm so happy to see where this goes." I get hit by an overwhelming feeling of guilt. Andrea just wants me to be happy, and I'm deceiving him. I don't say anything back and simply hug him before he leaves. Once him and Sam are on their way home, I grab my phone to text Maya.

Carina: Did you make it home?

Maya: Yes

Carina: Okay good. Turns out they were watching

Maya: Good to know. The pain of having to kiss you for no reason would've killed me a little inside

I'm not able to regain my wits to give a good response back. I start typing on my phone that I accidentally took her blazer home with me and sneeze about 6 times before I actually hit send.

Maya: No problem. I can stop by at the hospital tomorrow to come pick it up.

Carina: Sounds like a plan

A plan. The plan was to not fall for her. The plan was that I didn't even like her. The plan was for me to hate the kiss, but it ended up being quite the opposite. Ever since I kissed her, all I can think about is when I'll get to do it again.

"Achoo!" I sneeze again as I try to sleep.