All I Want for Christmas - Marina

Chapter 20: Carina

"We're here!" Teddy announces barging into my office the next day.

"I got the ice cream!" Amelia says holding up my favorite strawberry flavor. I blow my nose into the tissue and keep crying.

"I'm sorry I made you guys come in on your day off," I say feeling horrible.

"Stop it's fine. You would do the same for us," Amelia says as she takes a seat to the right of me on the couch. Teddy joins in on the left.

"Okay, what happened?" Teddy asks looking concerned.

"She..." I can't even get the words out as I start crying again. Both Amelia and Teddy give me a hug. They left the door to my office open, and I see Cristina and Meredith stop at the door. We all collectively look at them, and Cristina's eyes expand looking at me crying.

"Somebody sedate her," she says as she quickly walks away.

"Teddy, why didn't you shut the door?" Amelia asks annoyed.

"I'm 9 months pregnant. This baby is about to pop out any second now. FORGIVE ME for forgetting to shut the DOOR!" Teddy yells making Amelia and I look away.

"Okay... true my bad," Amelia says getting up from the couch in my office and shutting the door.

"Here," Amelia says handing me the ice cream and spoon. We all take a little to eat. Teddy takes rather large spoonfuls.

"You don't have to tell us anything. We hate her already," Teddy says. It upsets me a little to hear her talk negatively about Maya. I begin to fill them in on everything that happened the last two days.

"I didn't even realize you two had gotten this close," Teddy says.

"It was just a matter of Maya telling me how she felt, and I think I would've actually been in a relationship with her."

"So now what? You said she apologized."

"I don't know," I say.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Teddy says with a mouthful of ice cream.

"Carina, she apologized! She knows she messed up."

"But she hasn't messaged me or even reached out once since!"

"Because you asked for space," Teddy replies.

"Oh my god can you two stop being reasonable and just let me be upset!"

"Yes sorry you're right. Everyone knows when you ask for space you only mean a few minutes!" Amelia says.

"Thank you! Exactly," I reply.

"What will you do though if she reaches out again?" Teddy's question makes my nerves kick in.

"I don't know. She has so much she has to work out with her family. I want to help her, but her instant response was to lash out on me and throw how I felt in my face."

"And for you your self-respect matters the most," Amelia says lost in thought.

"Correct."

"But you like her a lot because I've never seen you cry like this over anyone before," Teddy says.

"Yeah, I think she's the one," I admit. Both Amelia and Teddy stop eating to look at me.

"Did Carina DeLuca just say that!" Amelia yells. Her reaction makes me laugh.

"Stoppp," I avoid looking at them.

"Oh my god she's blushing," Teddy says. My pager goes off, and I've never felt more grateful. I get up to see my patient and thank them for coming.

*

A week passes and Maya never reaches out. Her lack of communication further frustrates me more. How did she give up on us so easily? I try to push my thoughts aside as I walk into Andrea's apartment.

"Hey," I say giving him a hug.

"I'm so mad at you," Andrea responds.

"What? Why?"

"You and Maya got into such a big fight that you left Thanksgiving, and I had to find out from Mason?" Crap. "And he only told me because he assumed you had already spoken to me."

"What did he tell you?" I ask unable to put together whether he knows that Maya and I were faking our relationship.

"I don't think that matters. I want to hear from you what happened," he says. I know Andrea is hurt because he's normally the person I go to whenever I have any minor inconvenience.

"Andrea, we lied to you. We were never together," I say.

"Wait what?" Okay so Mason never told him. I should have figured.

"You're constantly saying how you wish I would date someone and make fun of the fact that I can never get into a serious relationship. I was sick of it so I decided to fake date Maya so you could stop saying I jump from person to person. We were supposed to fake a breakup after the holidays were over." As I say everything out loud I realize how childish all of this sounds.

"Carina, I never seriously meant any of that. I support you in everything. Maybe not hooking up with Owen but everything else." I roll my eyes at him.

"The problem is that I like her Andrea." I can feel myself getting emotional again. He smiles at how I've admitted my feelings.

"So why don't you make things right?"

"Because SHE messed up. She said awful things to me, and then she apologized two seconds later as if that would fix everything." I get angry thinking about everything again.

"And what did you say?"

"I told her to stop and asked for space."

"Carina, how is the poor girl supposed to know that you never truly mean it when you ask for space."