All I Want for Christmas - Marina

Chapter 16: Maya

I feel Carina rest her head on my shoulder, and for the rest of the drive home it makes me forget my worries. I try to remain as still as possible so she's comfortable. A part of me has a tough time ignoring the fact that Carina's the first person I want to share my frustration regarding my dad with. Most times I'm stuck defending him because I can't handle anyone else saying a word against him since I love him so much.

"Hey Maya," Carina says so softly.

"Yeah?" I look over at her and see how her eyes are closing.

"I may be the lightweight," Carina jokes making me smile. I know she's saying this to make me happy.

"Are you sure it's not jut a combination of the alcohol and lack of sleep?" I ask.

"That could be it," she says as she yawns. "And it's so cozy in this car." She snuggles into me more.

"Tell me you're not someone that cuddles when you sleep," I whine.

"Oh absolutely," she replies. "I like being the little spoon."

"Please no," I complain. She simply smiles and dozes off for maybe 30 seconds and we are home. I tap her arm and wake her up so we can go inside. I get nervous remembering that my dad might be awake.

"This is gonna be so funny if dad's awake," Mason says to me as we step into the house.

"Shut up," I whisper rather loudly. Mason steps on a particular part of the floor making it creek. I'm glaring at him at this point.

Carina on the other hand is sitting on the ottoman quietly struggling to take her boots off. Mason and I look at her and try not to laugh. "You only gave her five shots right?" I ask Mason because I don't get how Carina is this drunk.

"Yeah but I may have told the bartender to give her tequila for the last three shots instead of vodka since she was downing the vodka like it was water." Well that explains. I walk over to Carina and crouch next to her to untie her boots.

"Smart," she says as she kicks off her boots which make a loud noise hitting the floor.

"Aren't you going to yell at her to be quiet?" Mason whispers annoyed. I shrug. "ugh." At least Carina looks cute while she's being loud.

"Come let's go upstairs," I tell Carina as I offer her a hand to get up. She doesn't let go of my hand as we walk up the stairs - just like she hasn't this entire trip. We walk into my room, and I feel a shift in the energy between the two of us instantly.

"Do you have makeup wipes?" Carina asks to avoid the tension that's building up. I lead her into the bathroom and we look at each other in the mirror as we wipe our makeup off.

"How are you feeling?" I ask. "Do you need any water?"

"I'm fine Maya," she says struggling to maintain her balance. "Can you give me the sweatpants and shirt on my suitcase?" I grab the clothes she wore earlier to bed today and hand them to her. Our hands touch as I give her the clothes, and we look at each other for what feels like a moment too long. Before I know it, Carina has her index finger hooked to mine, and she keeps stepping closer to me. There is barely any space between us now.

"Carina," I whisper as I wrap my arms around her waist. She smiles but doesn't respond. Am I going to do this? Am I finally going to tell her how I feel? The moment feels right, and at this point she already knows. The kiss between us earlier said it all. "Ca-" She rests her forehead on mine in order to hold her head up, reminding me that she's drunk. I should wait to say this tomorrow morning. Maybe I can make her breakfast and surprise her in bed. "You need to change," I tell her. She wraps her arms around me pulling me into a hug.

"Thank you for tonight, Maya. My parents live so far away so it's nice to at least be with your parents for Thanksgiving." I hug her back a little harder to acknowledge what she has said. I pull away from the hug to look at her.

"It has only been a day, and you've already made my holidays much better," I reply. "I don't have to hear my mom complaining about me not having a partner," I joke. She smiles with her eyes closed. "Okay. Change," I order as I step out of the bathroom and shut the door to it. I quickly change while Carina's in there.

She steps out a minute after I finish changing, and we both continue to stand while we look at the bed. I don't think my bed has ever looked this small before.

"Do you have a preference for what side of the bed you want to sleep on?" Carina asks.

"Yes, left."

"I knew it," she laughs. I walk over to my fan to turn it on as she gets into bed.

"Why are you turning the fan on? It's freezing." This right here is my worst nightmare for relationships. I need the fan on no matter what. It doesn't matter what season it is.

"I can't sleep without the fan, Carina," I try to say as kindly as possible so this doesn't turn into another argument that I don't win against Carina.

"But I'm cold," she argues.

"It's a good thing you have a blanket."

"Are you being serious right now?"

"Does it look like I'm joking?" I ask walking over to turn off the lights.

"Do you have a nightlight?" She asks. A NIGHTLIGHT.

"What adult uses a nightlight? I need it to be pitch-dark to sleep."

"I need a nightlight to sleep," she argues.

"Well, I don't have one." I walk over to my side of the bed in the darkness and bump into my fan.

"Sounds like you need one," she laughs. I get into bed ignoring her comment and our arms touch right away. I try to keep my breathing even. This is not my first time at all sleeping with a woman. I just have to be chill. Deep breaths. "Why are you breathing so loud? I'm trying to sleep."

"Oh my gosh first the fan, then the nightlight, now my breathing. Anything else?" I ask exasperated. Carina turns to me, grabs my left hand, and then faces away from me with my hand so I'm hugging her. I can feel our bodies pressed up against each other, and I feel my heart beating so fast.

"That will be all," she replies and I can hear the smirk in her voice which makes me realize how uncomfortable I am. She brings my hand up to her chest and snuggles behind into me. I try to find a comfortable position for my right hand.

"Carina, I can't get comfortable."

"Have you never cuddled before?"

"That stuff is better in theory than practice."

"I know you're not bringing up theory in bed right now," Carina laughs. "Let me teach you." She sits up, has me lay my right arm out, and then lays back down so I have both arms wrapped around her. "Perfect," she says as I feel her relax into my body.

I'm not sure if I'm going to die of heat exhaustion first or nerves. Having Carina in my arms feels so new to me. It's like the nerves someone has when they're going in for their first kiss. Everything with Carina feels that way.

"I think I'm starting to sober up." Carina's words pull me out of my reverie. I take a deep breath and inhale her rose-scented hair which calms me.

"Does that mean you'll want to stop doing this, and I can finally be comfortable?" I ask but there's not much conviction behind what I'm saying because I know I'm secretly enjoying having her in my arms. She turns around in my arms so she's now facing my chest, and I'm looking down at her even though I can't see much in the darkness.

"Do you want to stop?" she asks. I kiss her on her forehead while I roll my eyes. "I know you're rolling your eyes." How in the world? I pull her closer into me and run my fingers through her hair. I feel her fall asleep in my arms in a matter of a few minutes. I smile to myself thinking how I could never imagine doing this with anyone, and here I am happily holding Carina. I still whip a small part of the blanket off of me because no amount of feelings can change the fact that I'm dying from how hot it is.