St. Martin's Day (Second Draft)

PART 6 - BIKES AND PEOPLE

For a while now, it's just been back to me and Jackie. Jackie and I. Or Jackie, I, and my obligated leave from work. I know they hate me there, anyway. But they need me to take on their most tedious jobs. So it's a sabbatical, but not a long one.

I had thought I would hear from Charlotte again immediately after the incident, but I haven't. Then again, I haven't attempted to reach out to her myself. Maybe she expects me to, or maybe she didn't mean what she said and she's as fake as all the other girls my age.

You may be wondering how I am doing now, health-wise - fine, for the most part. I am now paranoid I'm going to have an asthma attack any second when I'm in public, so I keep 2 inhalers with me at all time now. You can never be too careful. Or, if you were wondering back-wise, that's the usual. I am recommended exercises and surgeries daily and never do either for their own separate reasons.

Lately, I've realized how suddenly insecure I've gotten over how I dress, which isn't the prettiest, but not the most repulsive you've ever seen, either. I just throw my leather jacket over a tank top or v-neck with your usual jeans and boots. But I'm suddenly insecure about that. Maybe it's because I'm all of a sudden dressing to impress an actual, biological female. Usually, women don't even look at me in the eye. Or, if they're interested, it's out of something along the lines of a prank. Yes, that's happened to me in the past.

I decide to finally call Charlotte's number - or, at least the one she gave me - and see if she'll actually pick up. I'm noticing I'm shaking a little bit out of nervousness. Yikes.

Hit "call"... buzzing, buzzing, buzzing... someone picks up.

"Hello?"

"Charlotte?" I ask.

"Yes, hello, Martin."

"Oh, Charlotte! How... are things, I guess?"

What else am I supposed to say?

Charlotte replies... instantly.

"Things are fine, thanks. Listen, though, I'm currently in the middle of working on a project for my job, so if you wanted to talk later--"

"Oh, don't worry, I'll be quick about it! Now, listen, so, you seem cool and stuff. Did you wanna go out again some time? Like, coffee, or dinner, or... just hang out? Not at my place, though. It's awful," I quickly stammer. "and I can easily pick you up and take you on Jackie. I even have a spare helmet and even one of my old jackets if you're a little intimidated by motorcycles. Whaddya say, Char?"

Oh, no. I gave her a nickname. Oh, well. She gave me one, too.

Short but awkward silence. Finally, she responds just at the moment I get anxious about screwing things up.

"Oh, well... sure, if you're feeling better. Are you up for it?"

"Yeah, whatever you want to do!" I quickly say.

"Well, I was wondering what we had to do on your bike, like why we have to...?"

"Char, it's my only way of transportation on my own."

duh.

"Oh, right, right." Charlotte replies. My heart drops, questioning Jackie and all that. "Well, did you want to go to a restaurant then the park?"

"Oh, yes, although I don't go out often," I say. "but yeah, that-- that sounds good. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Yeah, okay." Charlotte says, as if in a tone that says she didn't get her way.

"Okay, see you then, bye." I hang up.

I know I'm supposed to feel giddy, but unbeknownst to you, I've had a girlfriend before. Before I looked like this, mind you. It's a long story, but it ended in a way that's made me hesitant and paranoid about girls ever since. So I feel the pity thing again. But, Charlotte wasn't mean. What woman wouldn't be nervous about a one-eyed man driving a motorcycle?

As I realize this and put my phone away, getting over this thought, joy comes over me in a way that swells my heart. Even if this ends badly, I get this moment to myself. Maybe it will end well, maybe it will end in a bottomless heartbreak again. Maybe I'm a drama queen.

Suddenly, I'm filled with this kind of weird, fiery joy, something that feels like maybe this won't end badly. Maybe she'll just be a friend if it doesn't work out. But I hope it does.

Then my mind goes to Robin and Marie. How would they feel? Heck, do they ever even think about me? Talk bad about me? Feel obligated to take me places with them because they can look at Jackie? Who knows. It stresses me out, but it also brings me alive. I should be grateful for actually having connections with actual, living people for once.

But then... I realize I need to buy new clothes. Charlotte will be appalled I only have so many - casual, then one nice one. It's not like I get invited to symphonies all the time. So I need to impress her.

I want to at least attempt to make her mine.