Isn't She Lovely?

Chapter Thirteen

It’s not that I felt guilty for Aidan being in the hospital, but it does have something to do with me. You know, I knew Harry was mad… I knew it. I can’t believe I bought into the bullshit lies about how he blames himself for it or whatever. Of course he didn’t.

I should have told Aidan that I told Harry about what happened. I should have, and I know that. But still, Harry had no right to go start a fight with him over it.

I was just happy that Aidan wasn’t seriously hurt. The only reason he had to come to the hospital is for a busted lip that needs a stich or two. And where was Harry? Nowhere to be found, that’s where. He won’t answer my texts, or my phone calls. I know what I did was wrong, I do realize that now. But still, he shouldn’t have hit Aidan. This is just getting out of hand.

They’re both jealous of each other and it’s ridiculous. I wish that I had never kissed Aidan in that field because ever since that day my emotions have been so twisted. When I’m with Harry, I want him and only him. And when I am with Aidan, it’s the same way. I just can’t seem to make up my god damn mind. It’s not fair to them; it’s really not at all.

I cheated on Harry with Aidan, and I know this. I don’t know what made me feel like it was okay at the time, because now I do feel guilty for hurting Harry. I was all Harry cared about at this time. He has made it so clear to me how much he loves me, but I just can’t seem to love him back. Why is that? Why can’t I love him like he loves me? We’ve been together now for what, a month now? It’s so hard to go back and forth in between my emotions.

My head feels like it’s going to explode at any moment. Why did I have to meet Harry? Why did I have to meet Aidan? Why couldn’t I of just continued on with my life without these two guys completely falling in love with me? I am just so frustrated with myself.

I jumped at the sound of my phone going off in my purse. I hurriedly went through my bag and found my phone.

“Hello?” It was Harry. “Why haven’t you answered my calls? You what? Why? Why did you hit him Harry?! You’re with whom? What?! Are you kidding me right now? Harry… please, no.” And then the line went dead. He was with Blakely… that’s why he hasn’t answered my calls. He was with her, the women he “once loved”. You’ve got to be freaking kidding me.

He said that he didn’t know if he loved me anymore. That his feelings have changed… I broke down and started crying right there in the hospital waiting room. He doesn’t love me? Why? Did I mess up that bad?

I looked up to see Harry standing by the receptionist’s desk. His hair was a mess and his face was red. He just told me he didn’t love me anymore, and here he is. I swear this boy is so messed up sometimes.

I kept staring at him, waiting for him to notice that I was there. His eyes gazed over the entire waiting room until he met my eyes. He stopped looking anywhere else and kept his green eyes on me. He leaned off of the desk and started walking towards me. I stood up, ready to hear what he has to say. He made it to me quick. He was standing directly in front of me now. I could feel his breath hit my forehead.

“What?” was the only word I could get to escape my mouth.

“I was mad… I didn’t mean it Rebecca… I… I just went to see Blakely because I was mad at you.” I put my head down; I didn’t want him to see the tears that were escaping my eyes. “Please Rebecca… I am so sorry…”

“What did you do with her to get back at me Harry?” He remained silent… I knew he did something with her; he didn’t even have to say anything to me. “Did you have sex with her Harry?” Now I was looking at him in the eyes. I wanted an answer now. The silence that fell over us was a good enough answer. I picked up my hand and slapped him across his face. “I can’t believe you!” I yelled at him and I yelled loud. I am sure everyone in the waiting room heard me. I brought my voice down to a whisper. “Just because I messed up doesn’t mean you go have sex with your ex-girlfriend! I can’t believe you would do this.”