North Star

23. Talented

"The answer is no, Cristal. You're not ready. And you think that we're just going to let you wander when that Gabriel guy is out there? Not happening," Edward states firmly.

He turns away from me in his sitting position on the boulder we're sitting on and waits for Bella to finish her hunt.

I suggested we three come hunting together so that I could ask for permission for a very special thing. Bella took the opportunity to hunt by herself for a moment so that I could have my asking session with Edward. This whole hunting trip was actually her idea. She knows what I want to do and since he can't read her mind he doesn't know she is stalling. And she thought it'd be a good idea if we were in an open space to talk to each other. Especially since he has been clearly avoiding me any chance he got.

During these past few weeks, instead of going to Rose, like I usually would, it was Bella who I wanted to be at my side while we all slowly moved past everything, except for my case, that has happened; the Margo incident, Leah and Lewis, Gabriel and now the wolves ignoring me, even Seth.

It's bad enough that I have to deal with everything else, but now I have to deal with the wolves giving me the silent treatment as well? Come on, give me a break. All except for Leah, none of them has so much as given me a look in the eye, of course. After these few weeks Leah still hasn't come back and I don't know what the situation is with her but I haven't seen or heard from her.

I've yet to try and figure out what secret they're keeping from me, and I know it's a secret by the way they've been avoiding me as much as Edward used to, but for now it's between me and Edward first. One secret at a time.

I've stuck to Bella ever since the day we met Gabriel, mainly because I knew Edward wouldn't be able to hear her thoughts so I needed someone to help keep a secret. As soon as I knew that I had her alone, Nessie and the pack were all knocked out asleep, Edward was miles away looking for information on my case with Carlisle and everyone else was out and about doing their own things but unable to hear us, I took Bella aside to speak to her.

I poured out my frozen heart and my non-existent soul out to her on how upset I was that so much is happening and I wasn't getting the closure I needed. And I knew she knew the secret Edward was keeping from me, which is why I needed to pour everything out to her to have her help me instead. I didn't want to guilt trip her into anything but I needed someone on my side.

If I were to have her on my side, I needed to have a solid plan on what to do. What is it that I'm planning on doing? It's not a good plan, but I know that I'm not just going to leave it alone. There's something out there, Gabriel and something else, that had a part in my case and I intend on finding out who and what it is.

The night I talked to Bella, I so desperately wanted to talk to her to just tell her what was eating me alive, so I did.

"That day, I had a huge urge to look for him. I don't know why, though. Everything is jumping on me without giving me a chance to breathe. I know I'm probably complaining way too much over little things that mean nothing, but I didn't even get a full set time to try and accept my own being. So, I just really think that if I go to see my family one last time, I will be better. It's too much, Bella. Please, I need help. I need one good thing," I finished. If I could cry I would have, just to top it all off to make it more believable. But the only thing I could do is let out tearless and dry sobs of sadness. And I hoped that she took the bait.

Bella was sympathetic and comforted me, giving me a side hug and rubbing my back and I hated it because it made me feel bad. Even though she didn't look like a mother, she definitely acted and comforted like one. Although, it's probably because she is one.