Typical WWE Fanfic Moments

first dates & smut mistakes

I THINK I FIXED THE THING 

5 DAYS. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.

First of all, after last chapter, I noticed some of the "hipster titles" being changed and yeah if you are /by mistake/ one of the persons that changed the initials into real names and you're reading this right now, well, I don't know babe, come here and let me give you a hug because you've made some people's life easier.

I wanted to thank you babes for the votes and comments, they made my day and made me want to update sooner. Oh and by the way, if anyone wants a dedication in the next chapters please let me know. (:

Alright, the moment you've been waiting for, it's time to put on my bad bitch glasses on and start the chapter.

Chapter five - first dates & smut mistakes(well not mistakes but what I do to get a rhyme)

DATES

When it's about dates, young grasshopper, there are two locations where Carolina and Seth go, it's either a place like McDonald's or a super dancy-fancy restaurant where waitresses flirt with Sethie Poo but Carolina kills them with (you guessed right) dem skillz. Let's reproduce the fancy-restaurant date.

Seth pulled up in a parking lot, immediately getting out of the car and opening the door for me. I could feel my cheeks heating up and mentally I slapped myself. God damn it, Carolina! He just opened the damn door for you and you're blushing like he asked you to do dirty things with him!

He took my hand in his and leaded the way to the restaurant and opened the door for me, sliding his arm around my own.

"And they say chivalry is dead" I mumbled and he gave me a smile.

"Welcome to Milenium! Do you have a reservation?" the hostess asked in a flirtatious tone, batting her eyelashes at Seth. I swear if she keeps doing that I'm gonna play slap-a-thon with that bitch.

"Yes, reservation under two for Rollins, please."

and yeah they arrive and now the waitress flirts with seth

and poor carolina is like really why you do dis waitress

IT'S MEIN

ya better not be drooling bitch

and basically what happens next they eat and he's like "i have eyes only fo ya car"

but she's like "i donnut care bout dat imma still fight that bitch" and they decide to leave after eating weird food that no one has heard of

and that leads me to the next topic

SMUT

We've all been here. Now, if you're going to tell me that you have never read smut in your entire life... seriously now. Don't deny it babe, we've all been here.

1.) Weird names for the female genital organ. I could never understand how somebody could write very (and by that I mean very VERY very) detailed sex scenes, but when it was about to mention the female genital organ... well, this happened.

Roman stared hungrily at my now-exposed cookie. didn't know that carolina has oreo down there whoops

or

He brought his hand to my wet kitty lips.

Sorry I couldn't write more than that, I don't read smut that often, in fact I barely read it but I had to document before posting, y'know? But, seriously, you can write graphic fanfiction and you can't write the female genital organ for what it is?

it's not a kitty, cookie, coochie, center, heat, baked gorgonzola

GODDAMMIT

IT'S

A

FUCKING

PUSSY

Now I dare you to tell me that you didn't see one of those (excluding baked gorgonzola now whoops) in fanfictions. Maybe "pussy" too regular for their fancy taste. I don't know, does kitty/cookie/other names sound more poetic, m'lady?

Oh and don't think that just the female genital organ gets nicknames, young grasshopper, the male genital organ is having the honor or receiving nicknames too.

rock hard member, Y/N jr., man tent, little friend, massive/firm length

HOW

ABOUT

DICK

or fucking penis jeez because let's be honest, when you swear or talk or something instead of dick you say little friend???? like suck my little friend??? suck my man tent???

2.) Anytime they fuck they get it so hard that she bangs her head on something.

3.) His rock hard member always slaps poor Rommy's stomach. Must hurt when you get bitchslapped by your own schlong. Poor him, I'd feel betrayed if something like that happened to me.

4.) When his whole end enters you. HIS. WHOLE. END.

Sorry I'm not over this yet. WHAT. his whole end. what is this

what is life

5.) When his hoo ha is mentioned as "hard throbbing cock". Like... can somebody enlighten me? Is a dick actually throbbing? Like really? Like for real for real? / u: a dick is actually my virgin friends the things you learn if you ask

I swear virgins have the dirtiest imaginations.

lol haha who's talking paige

6.) When clothes fly everywhere. Nobody knew that Seth and Carolina are secretly helicopters and the clothes were tangled on them. Until now.

7.) When Seth moans and yells at the same time. Again how is this possible?

8.) When a sexual scene turns into a satanic sacrifice and all that sado-masochistic stuff kicks in.Don't make me reproduce that.

9.) When she's working at his balls. Kewl. Does that place need more employees? Tell me where I sign up.

10.) She still blushes when Seth takes her shirt off and he's like "u bootyful dnt u evah feel ashamed u flawless"

BUTT

shirt off? blush

thrown in the bed? blush

legs around the waist? blush

orgasm? naw, blush

11.) When Roman makes fun of Carolina in the middle of the scene.

Carolina moaned, locking her fingers into Roman's hair.

"Enjoying yourself?" Roman chuckled

like shut the fuck up roman you wanna do this or naw

LIKE HOW ABOUT WHEN YOU MOAN YOUR BITCH-ASS TEETH OUT SHE'D JUST BE LIKE"OH, ARE YOU FEELING IT NOW MR. KRABS?"

nope

you know what

nope it's getting weird

i'm done

gonna listen to seal until I don't feel dirty anymore

or take a trip to the church

goodbye friends

---------------

aye babe you gotta check that video out because it's the 2015 hit you don't know what you're missing

WHERE IS BRAWK TAKING YA
#suplexcitybitch

(sorry for the chapter length, I really wanted to update and I'm writing this on my phone so excuse my ass if there are any grammar mistakes made unintentionally.)