𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐒 [ h.p]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

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[1985]

Sirius Black was distraught, after his wife, Estella, had died from dragon pox, he was completely hopeless, and memories kept on replaying in his head...

"Sirius, I know this is hard, but I need you to be strong." how could I be strong, he thought, his wife was about to die. "be strong for Lyra, she needs you" I need you. It had seemed as though Estella was ready like she had accepted her fate, and now she needed to secure the fate of her daughter.

Though Sirius nodded his head, he felt like he could barely comprehend anything she was saying, only focusing on her at that moment trying to savour everything.

"I love you Sirius" Estella whispered with a small smile before her eyes fluttered close...

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For the next couple of days, Sirius was engulfed in a sea of emotions. The loss of Estella had left him shattered and unable to see beyond his grief. The weight of raising his already 5-year-old daughter felt like an insurmountable burden, and he doubted his ability to be the father she needed.

Each day seemed to blend into the next as he struggled to find a reason to get out of bed. The pain seemed to consume him entirely, leaving him feeling like an empty shell. He knew he had to be strong for Lyra, but he couldn't find the strength within himself. It felt like his world had crumbled.

But then, after much internal struggle, he managed to muster the resolve to leave the confines of his bed. He apparated over to the Lupin household, where he knew the Potters, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were looking after Lyra. As he arrived, a whirlwind of emotions swept through him, making it difficult to face his friends.

Lily was the first to approach him, seeing his frantic state. "Sirius! What happened? Are you okay?" she asked, her green eyes reflecting genuine concern.

"I'm... I'm fine," Sirius rasped out, his voice barely audible, and his gaze fixated on the floor, not wanting to burden anyone with his anguish.

But Lily could see through the facade, recognizing the pain he was hiding. She gently placed her hand on his arm, offering silent support. "You don't have to pretend, Sirius. We're here for you."

Before anyone could say more, he noticed Lyra playing with Harry on the floor, her innocent laughter bringing a flicker of warmth to his heart. At that moment, he felt torn between his love for his daughter and his emotional turmoil. He wanted to protect her, shield her from his suffering, but he didn't know how.

Without saying a word, he scooped Lyra into his arms, holding her close. The guilt weighed heavily on him as he realized that he couldn't be the father she needed. He feared that his pain would affect her, and he couldn't bear that thought.

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"Sign here, on the dotted line, and then you can say your goodbyes," Lillian Smith said, her voice attempting to carry a veneer of kindness, though it was evident that her true feelings about children were far from warm, too bad sirius was too distraught to notice. She was the owner and matron of the dreary orphanage despite her disdain for children.

Sirius tried his best to be strong for Lyra, despite the pain he felt deep within his heart. "Lyra, you're going to stay here for a little while, okay, my love? Daddy needs to take care of some thing, but I promise I'll be back soon to get you," he said, his voice trembling with emotion. 

Lyra's innocent frown deepened, her big blue eyes welling up with tears. "Where are you going Where's Mummy?" she asked, her voice wavering with uncertainty and longing. The fear of separation from her parents was evident in her voice, and it broke Sirius's heart.

Gently wiping away her tears, Sirius knelt down to be at eye level with her. "i won't be gone for long, I promise. We'll be together again before you know it."

Lyra clung to her father, not wanting to let go. "I want to go home," she whimpered, feeling lost and confused.

"I know, my love," Sirius whispered, holding her close. "ill be back soon"