Stumble on you (gxg)

Part 21 - Skam (shame)

21. Skam (shame)

Islam says the same thing as always. That all men, in this world, are of equal worth. And that no man shall be slandered, violated, judged, or ridiculed. So if you hear someone use their religion to justify their hate, don't listen to them. Because hate doesn't come from religion, it comes from fear// Skam (Norway), Sana

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Lene's POV

I was now able to feel exactly what Tonje was feeling. I knew it because I realized the mix of fear and desire came from her. Meanwhile, the confusion was on my side, as a loyal friend. But we were both nervous and eager as it felt so right. How could it be wrong if it felt so right?

I had zero experience with a girl, and see, how I sulked her face as a natural. I laughed mentally, Tonje probably had no experience either. While our tongues were fighting for dominance, her hands didn't know what to do, but wrapped around my neck.

Tonje's lips were way softer than I had imagined. They teased mine, they crushed mine, and they weakened mine. She tasted heavenly. She tasted so protective that I forgot all the boy biceps I always dreamt of. No words could describe these imposible feelings right now. Was this the fireworks of a kiss they talked about? My mind was oohing and aahing, resonating with the amazing kiss we shared.

For some unknown reason, my body gradually grinded on hers. I was aware of what I got myself into, her legs. Here we go again, her golden and smooth pair of legs. I mindlessly stroke them out of instinct, because I didn't know what else to do.

I was surprised that I kissed a girl too. Notably, the girl was my sister-to-be. The thought flashed my mind, and I pulled back. I saw her disappointment clearly shown on her face as she frowned.

"A kiss can't make us gay, hon," she smiled. Then she leaned her forehead on mine and we stayed for some minutes. Tonje was such a chilled person. I wasn't.

I clearly knew I wasn't gay. I meant, I wasn't attracted to Clara, my best friend, or some random girls around me. Indeed, I didn't even bother to think about them. For the most part of my life, I only dreamt about building a home with a man, raising kids and cherished them. Classic.

This seemed stable, suitanable, and safe. I liked safety, I always played safe. If you asked me to choose, I would definitely pick boys over girls. But when Tonje came into the picture, confusion went with me. At first glance, she was just a bitch who shut me down. Irritating, challenging, suffering, and exciting. Then things happened and at no time, I fell for her, only her, particularly Tonje.

I don't know if this made much sense, but that was how I felt. And clearly I wasn't gay.

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I woke up later than Tonje. She was up already, and from the noise outside, I knew she and my mom were setting up the table for our breakfast.

The doctor recommended the other day that I could start to walk with the cane again, and practiced for stamina in the meantime. So I held the cane in my hands and prepared to go.

William leaned on my door frame, smiling, "Oh do you feel ready? Our meds seem to do a good job huh? Thanks to the incident too."

Squinting, I knew he meant something else, but I couldn't figure it out. "Yes dad, the Bergen trip was worth it."

I touched my lips, seeing myself in the mirror. Last night was so unbelievable. I swear I still felt her softness lingering on my lips. But was it a dream? When I was done brushing my teeth, I walked out of the room and found step dad was still there. He walked me to the dining table and accidentally, he kicked the cane, which made me lose balance and lean ahead.