Who We Are | TWD

.042

There's a moment of discussion as to what should be done with Rick, but I disregard it all, tearing Rosita's arms off me as I take off in a jog away from her. I hear her call my name, but don't even have the energy go look back to her or explain everything. It's all too much. I pass Carl, trying not to pay attention to him despite the gaze I'm being held in. I have to focus on moving my legs to even get myself where I'm trying to go.

The mumbling chaos behind me diminishes the further I get from everyone, but my worries had been drowning the noise out to begin with.

He thinks it's your fault, my mind screams at me angrily. He thinks you told everyone.

I pump my arms, rounding the corner as I see Ron just a few paces ahead of me. "Ron!" I call, catching up to him. "Ron!" He doesn't turn. He doesn't even acknowledge me. That's how I know my assumptions are correct. I grab his arm, pulling him back towards me so he'll stop his furious pace forwards. "Ron, I-"

"You told him!" he shouts, whipping around to face me. His eyes are outlined with red and I know he's been crying, or at least is on the verge of doing so. "You told Rick and now everyone knows and nobody was supposed to because now they'll kick my dad out!"

I shake my head feverishly while releasing his arm. He's just meager inches from me now. "I never-"

"Then how the hell would they find out? Huh? If you didn't tell Rick, than who did." I part my lips to reply, but Ron keeps speaking. "Actually, it doesn't matter because thanks to you, my dad's life here is fucked. Don't you understand? You ruined everything for our family." At the start of this confrontation, I had been feeling a lump growing in my throat and the need to release the anguish inside me, but that has changed. Now, I'm livid.

My eyebrows lower into a scowl and I can feel my nose wrinkle as I look up at him. "No. Your dad fucked everything up for himself," I say through gritted teeth. "I never said anything to anyone. I promised you I wouldn't and I kept that promise."

"Really? You know, before I told you, we never had a problem with people finding out. We kept our secret-"

"What secret? The secret that your father is abusive and was on the brink of killing your mom? That one? I didn't tell anyone. I swear on my life about that, but even if I did, you have no right to be mad at me because he was hurting you!"

"You really don't get it," Ron scoffs. He grabs my shoulders, bringing his face even closer to mine so that there's barely any space between us. I can feel his breaths surfacing on my face. "I don't give a shit what he did to us because he was still family. We were going to figure it out. That's what my mom said-"

"He didn't want to figure it out!"

Ron shakes his head. "No." He releases my shoulders, backing away. "No." I stay put, stunned and at a loss. I don't know what else to say or do, but maybe there is nothing left. Maybe I've said it all and this is just how it's meant to be.

I feel my eyes filling with tears and I'm so tired of it. I'm so tired of crying and being left confused. I don't know how many more times I can afford to experience these emotions because they're starting to add to the heavy load I'm already supposed to be carrying and it's becoming intolerable.

I cover my hand with my mouth, trying to calm my breathing. It's no use. It does nothing. The pain is too constant and I feel nothing but helplessness. I've burned half of my bridges since I've gotten here. The people that I got along with hate me. Either that, or I hate them. I'm the odd man out, and I'm almost a hundred percent sure that the only reason any of the adults, like Michonne and Rosita, are still able to deal with me is because they have to.