Alvin who is NOT a chipmunk

The blessings of ukulele

Beth was never too good at pretending. When she's angry, the whole world knows, when she's mad, something bad always seems to happen to me, and when she was incensed, nothing could stop her from eating strawberry ice cream. Which one of these moods was she in when Jessie broke her ukulele, I did not know, and do not wish to know. All I am saying is, I was glad it happened. 

On that day, Steve got a new girlfriend called Zoey and is showing her off ostentatiously, they were not really on the kissing level yet but Steve took her to all the scenic spot around school including the newspaper junk yard which used to be our sweet hide out to take selfies. And the two were laughing a lot, like no one is watching, when in fact, everyone was secretly checking the pair out. I can imagine the title of the newest gossip "Steve leave Bethany for zappy Zoey and the two are happily engaged under the crescent moon on September 15th with a donut ring." I was happy. 

Beth was not too happy.  Jasmine has been spreading rumours that Zoey has Lime disease the whole day to anyone who might listen and Janette bought ten strawberry ice creams for no good reason. "I have never seen anyone wear yellow that bright before, she looks like a traffic cone." Janette said, licking her ice cream. "Didn't I say buy chocolate? What's this??" Beth rip off a wrapper and look at the pink melting cream with disgust. "Strawberry, your favourite." Jannette said, voice muted. "Not any more." Beth walk over to Steve's bag and planted the ice cream face down on the top of his bag, and drew a idiotic face on the bag, and wrote "Dickhead" on his table. Jannette snapped a photo and said, "Total art piece omg, it's trending already." "Whatever." Beth said, biting a large chunk off of cookie and cream off another ice cream and the whole bag fell to the ground. Beth said, "leave it, let Steve clean it later." "Yes absolutely. " Jannette said. What they don't know was I was creeping at the windows a bit, pretending to walk pass several times in case they noticed and grinned from ear to ear when I heard the word "Not anymore."

Music class has never been my favourite because I was always partnered up with Jessie since I was the best in class and she the worst. Just when I was desperately looking for an excuse to go to the toilet before class, the class bell ranged and Beth walked in. I sat the fuck down where I was. "Miss are you lost? I have not seen you before." Mr Ronald asked kindly. Beth had ice cream on her face. She wiped that from her mouth and said "Do you mean Come on in, welcome to my class?" "Yeah I could have meant that, you are Bethany right? Saw the dick pic on the green bag, good grief!" Mr Ronald shrugged and signed comically. Ignoring him, Beth walked straight to my side and sat beside me. Sweat dripped from my face and I got the urge to pee again. Instead of standing up, I was frozen to the spot. Beth turned to me and asked, "Do I look pretty?" She still got ice cream on the corner of her mouth, and I want to lick it. "You are amazeballs." "Whatever. You are my partner for a period. Be good, I am a killer." By killer she means she plays the ukulele loud enough to break strings, I thought to myself, and nodded, swallowing hard. "Alvin, where were we?" Suddenly Jessie flew over and sat on my other side and put her arms around me. "No honey today we are not partners, we are partners." I motion between Beth and me and Beth scanned Jessie from head to toe coldly, eyes finally landing on her banana earrings and chuckled lightly. "Fine. Remember we need to meet at the library after this." "Okay." I kinda want to kill myself before I have the chance to go. Bethany coughed loudly, shakily. All my willingness to hold myself hostage evaporated. "Let's break up Jess." I heard myself saying. Her eyes grew bigger and her mouth dropping and her face was stretching longer and longer until it looked like a straight banana. "Okay. But why?" "I am sick of libraries where you always force me to do work and I am in love with Beth." I stammered out the truth too soon and Jessie slapped me on my right cheek and stomped off. Beth kissed me on my right cheek and I quickly peed my pants. "OMG WTF did you just pee yourself?" Beth said, pinching her nose. I ran for my life to the bathroom screaming, "I am the king of the world!"

I came back wearing kakis instead of my uniform and expected to be the centre of attention but a competition saved my downfall. "Murder! Murder! Murder! Murder!" the class was chanting. I rubbed my sore eyes, and caught the sight of my life-Bethany was in a Ukulele fight with Jessie, and I can tell with absolute expertise that they are fair match for each other. I sat down beside Charlie and took some of his pop-corns. "Why are you all not covering your ears?" "Goddamn, they sound so chaotic that it is impossible to muff out." "Really." I quite enjoyed it to be honest. Then the unthinkable happened. Jessie broke her string and smashed her ukulele furiously to the floor. "What are you doing? it is school equipment!" Beth yelled, trying to restrain Jessie, catching her by the waist. "Let go of me you b*tch!" Jessie grabbed hold of Beth's ukulele and smashed it too. The girls are soon in each other's hair. I rushed forward to help Beth and restrain Jessie and the whole class cheered when I pin her hands behind her back. "You got it Chipmunk in Kakis!" Someone yelled. I waved and whistled. Beth looked a mess. 

Beth rushed out the door and and I chased after her. "Why you got into a match with Jessie?" "Cause I am better." "I am sorry for your ukulele, I will buy 1 for you." "Great. I want the most expensive one you can find." "Of course." I tried to grabbed her hand but she started running and crying. "Are you okay?" I ask, panting, trying to follows her. "You know damn well. You were watching us." She suddenly turned and said coldly. I stopped in my tracks. "I was just passing through and then saw Jannette with ten ice creams." "shut up" Beth walked up to me and kissed me hard.

My my my. That girl was fire alright.