We Always Knew

Chapter Ten

"So?" Mac asked as he broke the silence.

Dennis stayed quiet, he was so full of emotions that he knew if he started talking now they would have to pull over to the side of the road.

"Can you say something? Please?"

The silence was scaring Mac and made him unsure if Dennis would actually say what he wanted to hear.

"I will, once we're there," Dennis replied shakily with hands that shook and jerked the car.

"Okay," Mac replied.

They both looked at the passing streets of Philly. Mac was jittering in his seat, shaking his leg, and playing with his hands. Dennis noticed his movement and put a hand over his thigh. The hand made his jerky movements pause and Mac put his own hand on top of Dennis'.

The car parked in its usual spot and Mac wanted to carry Dennis and run up to the apartment but instead, he just walked calmly alongside him. Pretending that he wasn't losing it.

Their shaky hands both fumbled for their keys. Mac shoved his key into the keyhole and twisted it, once he unlocked the door they slowly stepped in.

It was still quiet. Neither of them was sure to say.

"Mac,"

"Yeah?" he asked with a voice full of hope.

"I'm sorry,"

The words felt weird coming out of Dennis' mouth. He wasn't even sure what he was apologizing for, he just knew he felt sorry.

"For what?" Mac asked with furrowed brows and soft eyes.

The words could hold so many different meanings. Maybe Dennis was saying sorry because he didn't actually love him? Or he was sorry for his breakup? Or that he was sorry for the way he's treated him throughout their friendship?

"I... For everything. You know? I'm sorry for the way I've treated you, Mac. I'm an asshole. I can't help it. I'm sorry for not telling you how I feel sooner, I'm a pussy," Dennis rambled.

The words took a second to sink in. Dennis had never apologized so genuinely before. So far this wasn't necessarily what Mac thought he would hear. That last sentence gave him hope but he was still filled with mind-numbing fear.

Mac felt so stupid, maybe Dennis just wanted to apologize. Mac realized maybe it was a bit ridiculous for him to think that Dennis would confess that he loved him, ask for his hand in marriage, and whisk him away to live a happy life together. It made him feel even more stupid for leaving Brandon so hastily the second that Dennis came knocking at the door.

At this point, it felt like no matter what he did he couldn't win. He couldn't go back and grovel to Brandon for another chance, but Dennis didn't want him. Like the character in that book, his ex-boyfriend had read.

"Mac?"

"Yeah,"

"You okay? Did you hear what I said?"

"I did," he mumbled.

Dennis' brows furrowed, this is not what he expected him to act like. Spaced out, and distant. He rarely if ever saw Mac like this.

"So?" Dennis prodded.

"Is that... is that all you have to say?"

"What?"

"Dennis. You came knocking at my boyfriends' door, begging me to leave with you so you could just apologize? You couldn't have texted me this? Or gave me a call? Or waited until I got home?"