We Always Knew

Chapter Eleven

"Mac," he said quietly.

"Yeah?"

Dennis didn't know how to start. He's had decades to think of what to say but his mind was as blank as the void. Just say something Dennis, Jesus Christ!

"I'm the one who did that," he stated.

Dennis cursed inside his head because fucking hell he sounded so stupid.

"Did what?" Mac asked genuinely confused about what Dennis meant.

"I uh, well I blocked him. On your phone, and then I told him that you didn't want to see him, even though you never said that," Dennis paused, he wasn't even sure why he was admitting this.

Mac didn't need to know this. He didn't need to know about the creepy selfish shit Dennis had done. But if he was going to come clean he was going to get real clean.

"You did?"

The look of sadness and shock on Mac's face made Dennis realize just how shitty of a person he can be.

"I did, but not for the reasons you think I did," he replied trying to redeem himself. "I'm not vile Mac, I didn't do it because I want you to be as miserable and lonely as I am,"

Mac cringed as Dennis threw back the words he had told him just a week ago. He had already apologized for that but he felt like he needed to say sorry again.

"Dennis I didn't mean that,"

"Yes you did Mac, it's okay,"

Mac couldn't argue with that. Even though he wasn't proud of the words he threw at his roommate he couldn't lie and say he didn't mean them. At that moment he did mean them, in a way he still meant them.

"Well then why did you do it?" he asked softly.

Dennis paused and looked towards Mac's expecting eyes.

It was now or never.

He wasn't sure why Mac was being so understanding. If Dennis was in his position he would have told himself to fuck off. He didn't deserve Mac's understanding but he sure as hell was going to take it.

"I did it because I. Because Mac," Dennis paused and took a deep breath, he could feel the air leave his lungs as he exhaled. "Because I can't stand the thought of you with someone else. It scared me to see you with someone else..."

"Why did it scare you?" he asked completely dumbfounded. Why would he be scared?

"It scared me because I didn't want you to be with him," he paused and Mac's brows furrowed. Dennis realized he wasn't actually saying what he wanted to say. If anything now he looked like even more of an asshole.

"I didn't want you with him, or anyone," this sounded even worse. Dennis sighed and continued to speak.

"I only wanted you to be with me. Only me and I was afraid you would forget me, that you would leave me because... Because Mac, I love you," he said with a shaky voice as Mac stared at him, with soft brown eyes, and blown-out pupils. He felt out of breath.

"No, you don't," Mac mumbled, "You don't love me," he replied because he wasn't ready to believe that Dennis loved him even though his love was something he had yearned for.

"I do! That's why I did all that crazy shit! That's why I've been an asshole this past month! Because of you! You were driving me crazy," he replied in a raised voice. All he wanted was to hear Mac reciprocate those words or at the very least to accept them.

Mac couldn't speak so Dennis continued.

"I was so jealous that it fucking hurt Mac, it hurt so much. I know I went about it the wrong way. I know should have told you I loved you a long time ago," he rambled and pulled at his hair. "Mac, I know. I know that you love me back,"