Go Ask Jennifer

Chapter 13

"What happened?"

"We had just got to Rome when I met him, he was actually the very first person I talked to when I got there. His name was Matthew and I immediately fell so in love with him. We became best friends until we weren't anymore. We actually weren't allowed to even see each other so I wanted to find acceptance somewhere else. I went to a party and when I woke up the next morning I couldn't remember anything. Not at first." There's a sudden pause and she didn't have to say it for me to know what happened next.

"Emily.." I say sincerely. I wanted to tell her I was sorry but that wouldn't fix anything that already happened.

"I found out that I was pregnant and I was so scared of being alone. The school had found out and eventually so did everyone else. Even my mother. I didn't know what to do until one night Matthew snuck out to come see me. He told me my options and offered to help me with whatever one I chose." Another pause, shorter than the last and I think she just needed a moment to breath. "He stayed with me until it was over and even afterwards he walked right by my side to the front pew of our church. Everybody hated it, especially his parents. They thought I was a bad influence and a few weeks later my mother was reassigned."

"His parents did something?" I ask completely raveled in her story now. I had no idea any of this happened, she keeps herself together so well.

"I think so but my mom never told me." She answers and I can tell she really did ask, probably multiple times. "I've tried to call but they changed their number." She stifles a bit and then relaxes.

"That's awful Emily, I'm so sorry." I say as I place a supportive hand on her shoulder. Her hand squeezes mine appreciatively.

"You know it wasn't just him either. I had a baby, a literally living thing inside me and then there wasn't." She's tearing up now and I can't even begin to process what to do next. To see someone so confident and so strong break down is eye opening. It means that it happens and it's normal but it's also inevitable. Bad shit happens to good people and bad people walk away unharmed.

"You're gonna be a great mother some day, Emily." I assure her as I pull her to my side. She rests her head on my shoulder and her hands in her lap.

"You really think so?" She asks genuinely asking the question.

"I can see it," I tell her with a promising smile. Her brown eyes look into mine and I can see something switch in them, like she switched lenses.

Her eyes look big, and they're giving off warmth. I can't help but stare and the more I look the more harder it is to pull away.

"Do you think you're in-love?" She then asks me once the moment seemed to pass us by.

"Probably not." I say because it's the harsh truth. This is all probably a phase. She keeps looking at me because she always knows when there's more to be said. She's perceptive that way, patient. "Well, does it count if they don't feel the same way?"

She takes a considerable second before responding. "Yes. You can't help who you fall in love with." She assured me in a way of letting me know this is her logic 100%. "Besides Will is like totally crazy about you. Don't worry." She laughs but I can tell it annoyed her, Will in general does.

"Yeah," there was another pause between topics as we both processed the last topic. Does she know? Did I just give it away? She smiled at me so I smiled back, neither one of us looking away.