Go Ask Jennifer

How to fight lonliness

How to fight loneliness- Wilco

Dear diary,

I really don't know what kind of bad juju I got from the mistakes I've made in my life which, let's be honest isn't many because I've always been expected to live up to perfect Roslyns exceptions, but why does it all have to come due now? I mean he's 12, Spencer is literally 3 years younger than me and is gonna be teaching me math that I should know already. I hate math. Oh! And I was walking home from school yesterday and from the very second I left school grounds I could feel someone walking behind me. Following me. It was her, Emily. I know because I looked back of course to see who it was and that's when I saw Emily actually lighting a cigarette. A literal cigarette. That disgusting. Today went by pretty easily though. Nobody except my friends talked to me all day, and of course people in the lunchroom who are friendly and normal enough to say hi. I like lunch. It's simple and free. I feel like being there with my friends and so much commotion coming from all around it's the perfect time to shine. To put on a face without anyone knowing it's face. They don't notice.

Today Emily's supposed to come over so we can start our project. I wish Mrs. Zigs wasn't so strong on communications with our peers, she once listened to this podcast out loud in 7th grade and since then she's all about it. Emily is clearly a bad influence, from the way she dresses to her smoking habits. My mom will never give me the end of it as if it's any my fault. And just wait until I tell her about my tutor. Why does Roslyn get the paved street?

"Jennifer!" I hear my mom call from downstairs. I check the time and it's indeed the time Emily said she would come over.

I close my diary in a hurry and shove it under my pillow where it won't been seen. I then proceeded the route to the front door which stood only slightly ajar. I open it in a flush swing and saw Emily standing there in a pair of jeans, converse, and a black Nirvana shirt that looks like it's been washed and worn too many times. Thanks Emily for keeping it even.

"Hi, did she just leave you out here?"

"I don't know," she said trailing off for a few seconds in between, "she kinda just yelled your name and walked away." She admits kind of amused at the situation which made me smile a faint smile.

"Come in." I say as I step to the side. "Up here," I then direct her despite leading the way anyways. We walk down the hall to the farthest door, obviously I'm less important in a fire.

I lead her into my room and immediately I hate it. It's bright in here with a lot of white, yellow and pink. Typical I guess. I bet Emily's room is a black shadow. "Nice room," she says but I doubt she really meant it.

"Thanks," I say without meaning too. "You can use that chair," I tell her while pointing to the corner where my desk sits. Yes I have a desk in my room. Roslyn has like 3. Emily takes the seat while I sit on the edge of my bed. There a silence full of white noise while we gather our supplies and then after that there's nothing but a roaring awkward silence.

"I'm gonna play some music." I speak as I do and immediately over my radio comes on Heroes by David Bowie, the track I left off on.

"David Bowie, not bad." She says a bit more convincingly than before. I decide to write it down under a pre made column chart I made in study hall. "Uhm, that wasn't meant to be part of the project."

"Every bit helps." I ensure her and so she nods firmly. "What's you're last name?"

"Prentiss, yours?"

"Jareau." I say confidently but she only sends me raised brow and writes down nothing.

I sight lowly as this happens a lot. "J-a-r-e-a-u"