The Runt of the Litter

you're better off looking alone

Note: hey. i know i disappeared. again. sorry. i've been having a rough go of it. i'm getting an mri next month and hopefully after that i'll be able to actually get treatment for whatever's wrong with me. in the meantime, i'm hoping to get some more writing done, but unfortunately i can't promise anything. 

i'm so sorry to everyone who's been waiting months for their requests to be written. some of you have been waiting a year, and i never intended to make you wait that long

thanks to everyone who's been so patient with me and who's supported me <3 i appreciate you so much, i can't even express it

if anyone is interested, i started a tumblr account: writer-insomniac-extraordinaire. there i'm posting mostly original stuff (mainly poetry), but i also plan to post some short scenes from the runt of the litter. some of which will be scenes from previous chapters but some will just be snippets that i didn't think were long enough to be posted here. so yeah, if anyone is ion tumblr and that sounds fun to you, feel free to follow me. 

title comes from Don't You Dare Forget the Sun by Get Scared. which is such a good song guys. like SUCH a good song.

anna is seventeen. and without further ado, a chapter that might make you sad:

you're better off looking alone

The café bustled with it's late morning crowd, the air humming with low voices and indie music and the atmosphere warm. Anna sat huddled in a booth seat with her back to the wall and her phone in her hand. She'd just finished typing out an elaborately planned text message to her... boyfriend? Friend who she sometimes went on dates with? Didn't matter what he was to her. He was late, and as badly as she wanted to deny it, she had this nagging, painful feeling that she knew why.

Her finger hovered over the little blue arrow that would send her message with one tap. She knew she should call instead, especially considering that the odds he was late on accident were low. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She preferred to prolong the inevitable. She didn't hit send on the message either. She hit the sleep button on her phone, set it face down on the table, and rested her chin in her hand as she once again looked around the café, hoping to see a trace of him.

Her stomach clenched with nerves when she still didn't see him. She didn't know what they'd been, but she had a feeling they weren't it anymore.

That would have been hard enough, especially considering she'd taken a long time to even really try dating to begin with. But to make matters worse, she knew exactly why they weren't... a them anymore. And it was because of her.

With a dejected sigh that left her feeling empty, Anna started to get out of the boot. She turned back to pick up her phone, and when she went to get up, she startled at the sight of Ian standing in front of her.

"Hey," he said, running his fingers through his hair. He slid into the booth across from her. Anna hadn't known him all that long. Just a few months. But they'd spent a lot of time together, enough for her to recognize his nervous habits. "I know I'm late. I, uh..."

"It's fine," Anna said even though it wasn't. "I mean, I figured you were just... running late." That was the last thing she believed.

Ian tilted his head, staring at the tabletop in a way that told her he was being careful not to look her in the eye. "Yeah, actually, I was thinkin' about what you told me," he admitted.

He ran his fingers through his hair again, and Anna watched his hand move up to his head before settling back against the table. That repetitive movement was one of many tells she was seeing in him at the moment that screamed He's done with you.