The Only Thing (KyloXReader)

The Biggest Threat

You had no idea what you were thinking. Standing in front of Kylo Ren's quarters, wearing your night clothes? Did you have a death wish? What if someone saw you? You wanted to be out of sight in case anyone on this stretch of hall decided to step out, but you weren't sure how to get into his room. Maybe knock? Stupid, he knew you were out here. Your breathing accelerated and your palms started to prespire.

The door opened."Come in." A deep voice commanded you. You took a shakey step in, and the door slid closed behind you. Like in your fight before, you kept your eyes on his feet. You didn't want to look at that helmet, or the cold stare you could feel emanating from it. You watched him step closer, soon he was close enough to touch. You could feel the heat radiation from his body.

"You're nervous." He said, his voice matter of fact, not a question. Of course he knew, he could hear you. "No shit I'm nervous. I don't know if you called me here to fuck me or kill me, cause lately it seems you can't decide which you want to do more."

A latch clicked, and a slight hiss filled the quiet room, then you saw his helmet thud to the floor. You kept your eyes on the tiles, trying to find a pattern in the nothingness. A gloved hand curled underneath your chin, and pulled your face up. His eyes were caramel and honey, you were afraid of getting caught in them.

"There's no need to be nervous. If I wanted to punish you, well, I have better ways of doing so." Blood flooded your cheeks as your thought of ways he may punish you. A huff escaped his lips. Right. He can hear you. Don't think. Don't think. "You can't keep me out, don't bother." On the edge of a panic attack, you tried to focus on breathing in and out.

"Come with me." He said. He placed his hand on the small of your back, and led you to the far wall of his quarters. It was huge, and white, except for what appeared to be large window in the middle. You couldn't be sure because there were metal shutters drawn closed. You finally took a break from staring at the floor to look around his quarters. This room was wide, with not much in the way of decor, besides a huge couch in the center of the room. A hallway led to 3 doors, all closed. A loud whirring noise caught your attention, and you turned back to the wall with the metal shutters.

You were right, it was a window. What you hadn't expected was the view. Stars expanded before your eyes for millions of miles, it was all you could see. Bursts of light in the night, streaking across the sky. It was breath taking. "This is gorgeous." You finally managed to say. "I agree. This is where I like to come to think, it reminds me how...small I am. In a sense." Your gaze broke away from the stars and glanced up at him. "Small? What do you mean? You're freakishly tall, and a high ranking Commander in the First Order. How are you small?"

He chuckled and looked down to you. "I don't mean in stature; clearly, I more than measure up there." He pulled you a little closer to him, and held you in place to drive his point further. "I meant more, in the big picture of it all. There's the First Order, there's you, there's me, but I'm one of billions. Even though to them I'm Commander Kylo Ren of the First Order, I'm still just a man. There's always a bigger threat. This is where I come to think of them, to pick them apart and try to figure out how to best them. That's my job. To be the biggest threat."

You weren't sure what to say, you just held his gaze and tried to think of what it's like to be him. To be so powerful, but to constantly have to worry about the potential of others. What if someone was stronger? Would they destroy what you had worked so hard for?

You knew what it was like, to have something more powerful than you destroy what you worked for. It had driven you to near madness, the pain nearly killed you. Until you learned to use that pain. You thought that's what he would do, but you weren't sure that if he were bested, if he would be left alive after. Surely, anything with the ability to beat him wouldn't let him continue breathing. Because he'd just come back, and he'd come back livid.

"You're not wrong." Your face fell into a pout, you hated that he could do that. There was no privacy from him, not even in your own mind. "No, there's no privacy, but there's no need, right? Or are there thoughts you're trying to hide from me?" He crushed you against him, and pulled your lips to his. You fell back against the window, but his arms caught you before you slid down. He trailed kisses down your jaw, and to the base of your throat. A whimper escaped you, and he chuckled. "So, these thoughts you're trying so hard to keep from me. What are they?" Your throat closed up and you couldn't even think. Your knees buckled and you looked down again, unable to keep eye contact.

He pulled away and tilted your head up. "It's okay, Darling. We'll work on that. For now, you should get some sleep. You have an early morning tomorrow." He kissed your forehead, and disappeared into one of the doors in the hallway.