Reaching Out | Bucky Barnes

30 |

The jet jolts gently as Natasha lands and I push myself forward, rubbing my face.

"Sleep okay?" Bucky asks from beside me.

A wave of nausea passes over me as I hear his voice, but I take a slow breath and the feeling ebbs away.

My mind wanders to his question, and I shrug. I think I knocked out for about ten minutes, but I've been awake since. "I'm still exhausted..." I mutter, standing up.

"I'm sure you can sleep after you see Strange... Hopefully it doesn't take too long," he says, hand on the small of my back as we head through the hangar. It feels like miles to walk, and his words repeat over and over in my head.

After.

I don't want to see a doctor right now.

I hesitate as we reach the door and Bucky turns to me, a concerned look on his face. "What's wrong?"

"I just don't..."

Shut up.

Just do what they want.

My eyes slide away from Bucky's as I shake my head, trying not to create an issue.

"Y/N, what is it?"

Don't.

I clench my jaw, keeping my eyes away from him.

"You don't want to go, do you?"

His words have me shaking my head again, and I can't stop the words as they escape me.

"The last thing I want right now is to be prodded at by a doctor... I just—I just want to sleep..."

Bucky's face softens and he nods. "Alright come on, you can see him later," he says before guiding me through the halls and up the stairs. I'm glad when he leads me to his room, and as he opens his door, I feel myself relax.

It hasn't changed.

I'm slow as I walk in, feeling as though if I don't take my time, I'll blink and wake up. Like I feel like I have so many times.

When I crawl onto the bed, it's softness both comforting and shocking; like my body expects the thin, hard cot I woke up on. But it's also unfamiliar.

I spent more time on that cot than on this bed.

In this Compound.

So much more time.

A year.

I push those thoughts aside and sit, wrapping my arms around my knees as I watch Bucky take off his boots and holsters from the corner of my eye.

He sits gently beside me, his eyes a mix of relief and fear. "I'm sorry it took so long..." he says quietly, voice wavering. His hand reaches forward, cupping my cheek and I melt into it, covering his hand with my own.

"Thanks for picking me up," I smile weakly.

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Yes," I answer quickly. "Unless you don't want to—I can go into my room," I offer, hoping with my entire being he doesn't agree.

"I'm staying if you want me to stay," he mumbles, thumb brushing over my cheek.

I nod. "Please stay. I just... really don't want to be alone right now."

He lets out a shuddering breath, nodding before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss against my forehead.

I missed those.