Emergency Medical Dad

LXIV: present, november 15th

JESSIE

And then there's four days, then three, then we're packing as much as we can, signing Connor out of school one last time, letting him pick which things he wants to take on the plane to keep himself entertained, fitting the rest of the clothes that we have at Jorgen's parents house into a borrowed suitcase and trying not to cry when Connor says he's going to miss Jorgen's parent's dog, Dolly.

And then it's the night before. The night before everything changes again, the night before the rest of my life, the night before the hardest move I've ever made, the night before I can start all over again. Just me and Connor and Jorgen against the world. The first time I've parented truly on my own without someone much older than me there that's done it before to tell me when I'm doing things wrong or changing things that I shouldn't be.

And for some reason, I'm not nervous. I'm just excited. Excited and prepared and some part of me is a little scared about it, a little scared about all of it, but more than that, I'm ready. I can't wait for tomorrow, for next week, for the start of the rest of things. For a new beginning.

"Jessie, sweetheart, can I borrow you away from your packing for a moment? I know last minute packing and things is probably pretty stressful but I want to say something." Linda has her head in the door to my room, her thinking face on.

"Yeah, sure," I sit up from my packing but she just slips into my room instead, sitting down on my bed that was made for the last time this morning.

I stand and sit next to her, a little nervous about where this conversation is going to go, about any of it.

"I'm proud of you," she starts, her hands folded in her lap, an honest expression on her face. "And I'm so excited that you're going up to live with my son but I'll miss you around here, of course I will. My son is not an easy one to manage, I've said this before, he's not a guy a lot of people can work with easily but you do it so incredibly well I'd be holding a candle to the way you two interact to say that it's incredible."

I pull my legs up and cross them, a little confused but she's got the air like she's going to keep talking so I let her.

"And I'm saying this now, because I know it's true, of all the people in this world that I've met that are parents, every single one of them, you're one of the best. Not a lot of very young parents get that award in my head, if any, but you can handle everything and I've seen it. You balanced your son through the end of school last year all while going through that with your family, changing houses twice, finding your support systems, moving in with people you've never met just because they were your last line and you knew they were good people. You did everything almost exactly perfect and you didn't crumble for a second, not once in all of this, all summer, the entire time that I've known you, did you take out even a scrap of that anxiety on Connor or any of the rest of us. You held it with poise and every day I'm amazed by it. You've dealt with what Connor's been going through at school with such grace that I'm stunned every time you come up with just the perfect solution. Jorgen, Joey and I are infinitely lucky to have you in our lives."

"Thanks," I peep, barely able to come up with anything other than a blush.

"This summer has changed almost everything about how I look at the world. Because of you, I know my son a lot better than I did beforehand, I know why he was who he was when he was younger and why he is who he is now and I'm hoping that I can do some late phase parenting with my two boys and hope to fix my little messed up family out of your inspiration. Because of you and Connor I'm forever more grateful of what opportunities I was given and time that I had. I'll always always always interact differently because of what you've taught me about being human. You might not think that you have a lot of effect in this world, Jessie, but you've changed most of my life as I know it and you'll forever inspire the hell out of me.