Emergency Medical Dad

LXI: present, october

JORGEN

Nico knows. Of course Nico knows.

"You're blushing," she says the second I get into the coaches room. "How's Jessie?"

"Jessie's great, wonderful, I-" I stop talking, realizing that everyone is sort of looking at me. "Sorry I'm late, I got kinda... stuck, um."

"No, no issue," Bernie waves it off. "You're working offensive shifts tonight, you know that, yes?"

I nod, glancing at Rod who looks angry in his wheelchair. The poor guy broke his femur the night before heading out to Chicago on a particularly dangerous patch of ice right behind the Bauer practice center. He's not angry at me, he's just an angry guy in general, even more so now that he can't do his usual pacing.

"Alright, get out of your little love brain state," Nico elbows me in the side. "We've got a game to win."

"I hope Fen knows he's going to have to help me with the shifting thing until I get the hang of it," I respond, blinking, trying to get the feeling of Jessie off my lips so that I can have even a scrap of hope in focusing on anything else.

"He does, don't worry, he'll be nice about it."

"Good," I pull my hair tie down and out, then retying it tighter.

I wiggle my phone back out of my pocket after another moment waiting for someone to come tell us the bus is here.

JORGEN: i kissed her again, just, I don't know why i feel the need to tell you I just feel like I should

RON: what sparked it? Have you decided to begin a relationship?

JORGEN: no, we haven't, I just did it. I was kind of saying goodbye and I think she was too but I don't think that it's going to make the distance any better, if anything it's going to make it catastrophically worse

RON: understandable, what do you think emotionally caused it?

JORGEN: is it normal to want to be closer to someone than possible? To just stick to them at all times, just to have them there?

RON: a feeling of wanting to crawl into them in a way or perch on their shoulder and watch everything

JORGEN: both. I just want to be with her at all times and I don't... I thought it was just when we were together when I was living back home because we'd spent so much time together but even when I left all I wanted to do was have her right there again

RON: you're just in love, Jorgen. This isn't something I can dissect about you and give you reasons for, it's just your way of love, if that's okay with you

I stare at the screen for a second, thinking about the way that I felt with her lips on mine in the pouring rain.

JORGEN: do you think that Canada will be the right time for the two of us? Like when she gets up there with me, do you think that we should start something then?
RON: if you're ready, I presume then yes, that would be the right time

JORGEN: how do I know if I'm ready to handle that, though?

RON: not sure. You just have to do it and see if it's working or not. Love isn't ever something you can study for, something you can prepare for, and I know that freaks you out, just as much as having them take every second as it comes with moving up there with you, but you have to know that your boundaries must be stretched in order to grow

RON: i have a feeling tomorrow's session might be interesting.

JORGEN: might? You have such little hopes in me