Warriors OC Rater

🌸Asterleaf🌸

name - asterleaf (aster is a kind of flower)

gender - tom

sexuality - bi

past and future names - asterkit, asterpaw, asterleaf, (future) asterrain

name meaning - an purple aster flower was the first thing his mother thought of when he was born (also because of his vibrant purple eyes). 

the (current) suffix, leaf, was given to him for his love of nature and simple personality. 

the suffix rain (future) is for his calm attitude and in honor of a fallen friend.

Perfect! Detailed and it makes sense! 5/5

age - 34 

moonclan - (the lore is different in the book he is in. instead of clans, there are winter, summer, fall, and spring dynasties) winter dynasty

past and future clans - just winter dynasty

rank - warriorpast and future ranks - kit, apprentice, (future) idolater (med cat), auxiliary (deputy)

appearance - he is a medium-length furred tom cat with gray colored fur and a brown stripe going down his nose, with brownish gray tabby stripes on his flanks and spine. his eyes are a vibrant purple with a warm, comforting hue of blue to them.

Okay! Maybe more detail, and I'm not sure if purple eyes are possible, but the appearance is awesome and unique! 17/20

scent - because of him taking walks through his territory, he always smells like flowers or pines.

Okay, nothing wrong here, 5/5

personality - he is a shy and introverted cat. he often stays away from conflicts as much as possible. once he warms up to a cat, he is very sweet and has a good sense of humor. he keeps to his own most the time. as a hobby, he watches cats spar and notes on their strengths and weaknesses. that hobby helped him be a wonderful mentor.

That is a great personality! He seems like a very observant cat. Though maybe more negative traits? 17/20

likes - songbirds, flowers, small snow flurries/powdered snow, the company of one or two cats, watching other cats spar.

Good, 5/5

dislikes - large crowds (meetings mainly), being completely alone, the dark, wolves (commonly found in their territory), any big predator really, and hawks.

Okay, 5/5

family - mother, lilacrose (pale brown she-cat with one violet eye and one blind) ; father, ridgespine (big burly tom with dark gray fur and amber eyes) ; sister, fluttersong (mousy, pale brown she-cat with amber eyes)

Great, but I'm not sure how he can be a tabby if neither his parents are? 4/5

friends - alpineclaw (white tom with a gray face, tail, and paws with light and dark gray scattered across his back with blue eyes), and cardinalfrost (fluffy dark ginger tom with bits of cream fur along his face and back. he also has cream ears and neck. his eyes are a vibrant gold with purple ringed pupils [the pupils are purple] )

Okay! All the cats near him have very distinctive and cool appearances! 5/5

enemies - nightshade (black she-cat with a dark cream mane, lighter cream and gray splotches and one gold eye and one blue eye)

Okay, I'm excited to read in Asterleaf/rain's backstory of why she became his enemy! 5/5

rivals - he has a friendly rivalry with alpineclaw, about how long they can hold their breathes.

Cute, 5/5

backstory - Asterkit was born outside of the nursery in the fridged cold when his mother was taking a walk. Shortly after a wolf started to attack his mother (thus his extreme fear of wolves). The wolf left his mother blinded in one eye and Asterkit with a scar across his shoulders. He was rushed back to the camp where him and his mother were treated for their wounds. Many moons later as a apprentice he finally started to speak to his denmates. He soon made a friend, named Alpinepaw. He is a snowy white tom and his back is dusted with pale and dark gray. His eyes are pale blue and his ears, paws, and tail are dark blueish-gray. (same for his muzzle as well) The two found a secret lake in an unexplored part of the camp cave system when they were exploring one day. That was their spot to vent to each other for many moons, also leading into them becoming warriors. When they became warriors Asterpaw became Asterleaf, and Alpinepaw to Alpineclaw. When they were patrolling together one day, a wolf came across their path. Asterleaf's deep fear of wolves had reawakened. Alpineclaw saw his fear and protected Asterleaf with everything he had. The snowy tom was severely injured and Asterleaf rushed him back to camp. From that day on he spent every living moment with Alpineclaw, treating him, and talking with him when he was lonely. Alpineclaw made a full recovery, with just only a scar on his chest and neck to remind him of it. Seven moons later, he met a cat from another dynasty. Her name was Fallenrain. She was a pale gray shecat with dark blue eyes from the Fall Dynasty. There was an argument between the dynasties, thus leading to a full on battle. the Fall Dynasty took sides with the Winter Dynasty and Spring Dynasty and Summer Dynasty together. Fallenrain was one of the many casualties. Asterleaf decided to change his name in memory of his fallen comrade. Asterrain was his new name.

Great backstory! Maybe some explanations, like how Nightshade became his enemy or how he met Fallenrain? Other than those small things, this is a great backstory! I can't find anything else. 18/20

91/100

Overall, Asterleaf is a great cat! His backstory, personality, and all others make perfect sense, but his appearance needs to make a little more sense. Other than that, he is an awesome OC! However, these are just one person's opinions so they don't matter.