Nightmares: Kokichi

Note

I marked this as mature for the chapters closer to the end. There is no smut, just gore and graphic depictions of violence.

This story was originally written as a comfort Fanfic for me in junior high school. But now after it has been one of my favorite stories to write and develop I am going to be rewriting it so Kokichi's character is more in character.

I will also be working on a fairly large project for this story. I want to work on a manga for this story and get the storyboard for that worked out. I will also be making this into a complex visual novel, but as this is going to take a while it will- well take a while.

Regardless of that, I hope you enjoy the story, and thank you for reading!

-your author Saichi Kohana

Hello hello everyone! I am honored by all the views, comments, and likes that my Nightmares story has gotten! So I wanted to officially introduce all of you to the new project I am working on...Nightmares Rewritten!

Sure you are probably asking "What the actual fudge cakes and muffins is going on in the bakery?" (or something similar). I can answer that. I originally wrote this story as a What if...things went differently? the scenario of my own situation of being a person who has been living with schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia in my case is where my mind is constantly loud. Almost as if I was sitting in a room with a radio turned to full volume blasting static and sometimes words that are hard to understand. Then there is a TV also at full volume blasting random channels while also taking into consideration the consistently changing noise from the outside. And while all of this is going on internally, I still have to be able to be present in the world around me. And along with this I would see corpses and heard ghosts talk to me. I don't know why they were all dead people, but maybe it was better that they weren't living. Except for the exception of a select few. Over the years I have been able to control this by using my anxiety and OCD to hyperfocus on things. This helps to ignore the noise and focus on one task at a time. This is why writing is a great coping skill for me.

I inserted myself as Kokichi and as I was writing it I was able to find out things about myself and be able to progress forward and get in a better place with my condition. This was a huge coping mechanism for me at the time and I wanted to rewrite the series as a way of reestablishing that with myself after so many things have happened afterward.

---Feel free to skip this part if you don't want background information and just details on the project---

When I was a child I was given a slur of disorders that my parents and my siblings had no clue how to deal with. So I was left alone most of the time, which is why I became a workaholic, because over that time of being alone my purpose became to work and if I was working "I was doing something good...I was being good"

When school came around I was labeled as the "weird kid" because of how I would talk to myself and talk to the *things* I would see. This along with the fact that I spent more time reading textbooks, speaking poetically, asking deep questions, and more time at the library as opposed to hanging out with my fellow classmates.

The flashbacks Kokichi had in parts 21, 27 were both events that I put in there from experiences I had in school from the few failed attempts at friends that I had. I was blessed in elementary school to meet my best friend Ponk (who has been super supportive and kind about being involved in this project). We weren't super close then, but after time passed we became closer after realizing that no matter what we were the best friends for one another. Sure we had our share of rough patches, but we worked through it and I'm proud to say that she is still my friend to this day.

Many of the events that happen with Kokichi and the other Kokichi is a reference to the main *thing* I would see. It was another version of me. I believe it sprouted from the horrible loneliness from my "friends" and my supposed "family". It was a coping mechanism my brain created for me because who could be a better friend than yourself right? She wasn't the only friend I had that wasn't "real"

Jordin was the other one, which in this story Joelle is my stand-in for who Jordin was for me. Jordin was created (I presume) because of how much I wanted an older sibling who I could rely on, so who better than an accepting boy who was good at tolerating my lies?

Things were good between and the other me (I will refer to her as Amelia) before there was a third person introduced. Him. He never got a name so I don't know what to call him...but he was my stand-in for a "fatherly figure". My father was busy with getting his schooling done and he was also working all day so I didn't really have a parental figure I felt I could look up to. So Him he became my father. In the odd sense that this would work.

Him would help me with my homework assignments and taught me how to stay motivated even when a reward or goal wasn't present. Him taught me how to be perseverant and I will always be grateful for that. But I will not always be grateful for Him. This is because my idea of a parental figure was stained by the distasteful boys who taught me things I wish I didn't know at such a young age.

I developed faster than most girls my age and soon after this started I hated being labeled as a girl. I hated being a girl...but I didn't think being a boy would be much better. I wanted my chest to disappear so I didn't have to always feel the painful wire of a bra poking into my ribs while the straps dug into my shoulders. (referenced in part 27 ...I think)

But regardless of all this. Throughout my life, I was plagued with seeing dead bodies. And I mean mangled, exposed, and morbid realistic images of corpses. Now I am accustomed to it that it doesn't phase me as much as it did before. I am still working on moving forward from all of these things as well as being able to continue on after the person I based Shuichi off of took his own life.

My beloved Nathaniel. He was my everything and helped me to find confidence in myself, but his father was awfully controlling...and me being a kid I couldn't really leave my house in the later hours of the day to be there for him. So on the worst night of both of our lives, he took his own and I had a breakdown worried why he didn't call me like he did every night.

I won't get into the details about that mostly just because this is super lengthy as it is.

--End of background information--

I want to welcome you all to Kokichi's POV of Nightmares! I will be doing one of these in each of the student's perspectives and then when that is finished I will be making this whole thing into a multi-perspective visual novel where you can play as any of the students at the Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juveniles. I do hope you enjoy this story! And thank you for reading this painfully long note!

-In closing (for real this time)

Wishing you all the best

Saichi Kohana