Belong

The whole picture

The human mind works in mysterious ways, telling us secrets that we wouldn't even tell our closest friends, leaving us all with a personalised view of the unspoken. Each one is unique,salty or sweet but most significantly it belongs to each; their own. An image of life that's so sacred it can't be taken away from them, we are the main characters of our picture. Yet most of us are begging and screaming to be out of it and our finger tips barely reach the barricaded surfaces of the canvas. Trapped within ourselves and the images perceived to others as mesmerising and thrilling; we mourn desperately in misery on the other end and no one knows or hears, they fake a smile without the slightest clue.

Many are losing faith before the challenge even hits them and yet somehow there remains to be a few of the valiant ones, the ones that can only be desperate to a certain extent until they break down. The peak moment of their lives in which they decide to do something for themselves instead of doing nothing about it. Gripping onto their brushes and painting their images, constant torture of the mind as they rebel against it, not wanting to lose or give up. I mean aren't we all told not to be cowards, if we all are fighting our own battles,who are we doing all this for? Who is the enemy?

You'd have to be a pretty good artist if you don't want to fuck things up and my brush is slipping. Then again they say every artwork is a masterpiece so there's no such things as "making mistakes", I don't believe that bullshit. Mindful of every stroke and the next, repressing my tears so my image doesn't blur, no one to guide me, just me. I'm fucking up really badly, how do I make it stop?

Endless thoughts of what people are thinking or feeling about me? Whether they feel the same as I do about them? I can't tell anymore, and it frightens me. How will I share my side of my image to others when I can't even see theirs...what if their one is more gruesome and horrific than mine? I wont be able to handle that kind of guilt, portraying myself as ungrateful- anyways they won't understand me and I can't blame them for it because neither do I.