Belong

Me, Myself and I

It's very easy to express when you're not in need of anyone, to defy those that look down on you in your life and keep to yourself. The complications seep in when you're left alone- stranded and unwanted. You begin to crave contact with the outside world and suffer unable to strip the feeling of emptiness, the essence of life and what it means to live. The difficulty of reforming connections with your loved ones that once were.

The unbeatable fatigue of our mental being silently,swiftly poisoning our limited vessels even right this second. Ravenously devouring every bit of nostalgia and delight until there's nothing left for it and it begins to consume us from within. It's tough being alone and suddenly having encounters with those that want to be there for you.

They creep into our lives forcefully reassuring us that they'll hold our hand every step of the way until they get sick of us. I remember not so long ago, comforting a heartbroken friend, wiping her tears that no one saw apart from me and now she doesn't even speak to me. Occasionally she plasters a smile towards me when I try to talk to her, murmuring about how we should meet up over the holidays and have a girls night to catch up about everything. It's been two weeks already and not a word from her. Fuck- my own best friend won't even look at me anymore, she hangs around with a new group of people and I'm stuck with people that aren't even my friends.

It's really hard coming to terms with being alone, knowing that no one will be there for me and I will have to be there for myself. There's no use feeling sorry for myself; it's not like that will change anything. In all honesty the truth is that you can't live without maintaining relationships with people around you, somehow I seem to convince myself that I'll be the first person to ensure this and that I won't need to rely on anyone, I mean we'll all die alone won't we?

The only problem right now is him.